BOO!

I have had more experiences with the paranormal than I would have ever wished. I have seen a ghost & the Husband & I lived in a very haunted house. This house was so frightening that we only lasted about 6 months, despite the house being very beautiful & across the street from the Arboretum in Seattle. In this house there was always a presence. There were spots in the house that were ice cold. Doors & windows opened & closed at night. Pictures on the wall moved. We both felt a breath on the back of our necks when we would travel up or down the staircase. Our room would have an icy chill come over it at night. I got really sick in this house & I had an out of body experience while I was sick. During this experience, I would see a shadow leave the room, just as I would float into it. I followed the shadow & then it turned & followed me. We found this house so frightening that we were willing to leave all our belongings & just walk away from living there, indeed when we did leave, what didn’t fit in the U-Haul, stayed. In the house I grew up in, I was always overcome with fear of the basement, & late at night I would hear talking through the vents of the heating system. Decades later, as an adult, I offered this story to my parents, who admitted that they heard the voices too & that they hated to be in the basement also. I have no fear of spiders, snakes, or graveyards.

Things that I find scary:


*Dolls
*Puppets
*Tripe
*My image in the mirror at 5am
*Ventriloquist Dummies
*My bank account
*Total darkness
*Republicans
*My husband’s displeasure
*Tripe

*Clowns
*My high school graduation photo
*Headcheese
*Hospitals
*Esoteric instrumental jazz
*Diets named after people who have died
*Religious fundamentalists
*Global warming
*Choral Music
*Airplane pilots on laptops instead of flying
*Swine flu vaccine
*The Burger King- King Character
*Syringes
*& did I mention Tripe?

Gratuitous... Bold & The Beautiful's Brandon Beemer Says -"BOO!"

His name is Brandon Beemer & he stars on The Bold and the Beautiful. Brandon posed for Cosmopolitan to raise awareness of male cancer for the Everyman campaign.

Happy Birthday To Broadway Leading Man- Brian Stokes Mitchell

The Baritone voice in song is my favorite sound on earth or the heavens. Check out Broadway leading man Brian Stokes Mitchell's stunning baritone on his self titled album from 2006. Perfection. He is a 5 time Tony Nominess & winner for Kiss Me Kate. I loved him as Frasier Crane's nemesis & neighbor on Frasier. Other credits: George Gershwin's Oh, Kay!, Jelly's Last Jam,  Kiss of the Spider Woman, Ragtime, the 1999 revival of Cole Porter's Kiss Me, Kate, King Hedley II & Man of La Mancha . He appeared in the City Center Encores! productions of Jule Styne's Do Re Mi, Bob Merrill's Carnival!, & Kismet ,& the title role in th Kennedy Center revival of Sweeney Todd, part of Stephen Sondheim's 70th birthday celebration. I am sorry to bring it down to this level, as always, but  OMG!, isn't he too yummy?

Call Me At The Gas Station Payphone...

I have this new phone... and it makes me feel stupid.

What ever happened to payphones?

Just curious.

So I have this phone-it is the new HTC Hero Google hip hip hooray phone.

It is a touch screen so I have to do everything by touching little buttons on the screen-even a little keyboards.

So my texts look like this:

Hey! I thsle lkehes lkml llskerh lsisha ok?

I never knew I had fat fingers. Oh to have the long fingers of a pianist-I bet they would be able to send a text from my phone!

This phone has approximately 4 million different features-none of which I can figure out. I even have a hard time answering it when someone actually does something unheard of like call me to use their voice to communicate.

My 12 year old son figured all of the features out in 20 minutes which is proof that evolution is at play here and children have a special trait now that enables them to be able to understand technology better than their weak link parents.

Soon computers will be obsolete because babies will be born with a hard drive.

I am so screwed.

Perfect For This Time Of The Year #5... 32 Halloweens Ago! Psycho Killer

Really? 32 years ago? I still love it, from the 1st chord. I like this version from the film-Stop Making Sense. I love the way it builds from the boom box beginning. The Husband & I remain a huge David Byrne fans.

I am trying to decide on my 2 final choices for a costume. I think I will be going as a bitter, disillusioned, hard drinking, middle-aged man, because I already have the costume ... or maybe I will go as Tinkerbell.

In Memory Of Ruth Gordon... From Harold & Maude

Maude, played by Gordon, is in her late 70s & befriends a wealthy, suicidal young man (They meet as onlookers at a funeral). Here they walk among flowers at a nursery:


MAUDE: They grow and bloom, and fade, and die, and some change into something else. Ah, life! I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They are so tall and simple. And you, Harold, what flower would you like to be?

HAROLD: I don’t know. Just one of those. (He gestures toward a field of daisies)

M: Why do you say that?

H: Because they are all the same.

M: Oooh, but they are not. Look. (They bend down together.) See - some are smaller, some are fatter, some grow to the left, some to the right, some even have some petals missing - all kinds of observable differences, and we haven’t even touched the bio-chemical. You see, Harold, they’re like the Japanese. At first you think they all look alike, but after you get to know them you see there is not a repeat in the bunch. Each person is different, never existed before and never to exist again. Just like this daisy - (she picks it) - an individual.

H: Well, we may be individuals all right but- we have to grow up together.

M: Yes, that’s very true. Still I believe much of the world’s sorrow comes from people who know they are this (she holds the daisy) - yet let themselves be treated (she looks out at the field) - as that.

Psssst...

Guess WHAT?

It is FRIDAY!

I have to go do some secret undercover "my name is not June" type of stuff today--and I even get paid for it...

Which is kinda cool considering that tomorrow is HALLOWEEN and I can be all mysterious...

Now I have to just decide if I want to go as a "blogger" a "tweeter" or a "facebooker"

They are all different you know.

A blogger would wear mom clothes-yoga pants, hair in a pony and have a kid hanging off of her hip.

A tweeter would wear casual clothes-jeans, T-shirt, Ugg boots and gloves with the finger cut out so they can tweet from their phone.

And a facebooker would wear business attire... because we all know facebookers are all at work screwing around on the Internet instead of doing their JOB!

Or I can just go with my original idea...

See... "mysterious!"

Born On This Day- October 30th... My Muse: Ruth Gordon

She has been such a major part of my life for so long, it is hard for me to remember a time when she was not being my muse. A quote from Ruth Gordon- “Never Face The Facts” has been my motto for much of my life. He point was, if she had owned up to the fact that she was 5’1’’, not really pretty & that her drama teachers said she had no talent… well, she would never have become Ruth Gordon. I treasure & have read & re-read her 3 volumes of memoirs- Myself Among Others, My Side: The Autobiography Of Ruth Gordon, & Ruth Gordon- An Open Book. I know it started with Inside Daisy Clover, a film that had a real impact on me at an early age. My adoration for her was cemented with her Oscar winning performance in Rosemary’s Baby & Harold & Maude was the most important movie of my youth. I had a friend who was in Harold & Maude as an actor & another friend who was the set decorator on the film. I had heard all these stories about it during the filming, but I was unprepared for how much I would fall in love with this little movie that went on to be a cult favorite.

The daughter of a former ship captain, Ruth Gordon knew what she wanted to do with her life after witnessing a performance by stage actress Hazel Dawn in Boston. Over the initial objections of her father, Gordon decided upon a stage career, studying at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. She made her debut in Peter Pan with Maude Adams: "Ruth Gordon was ever so gay as Nibs," wrote influential critic Alexander Woollcott, who became a valued & powerful friend to Gordon, & did what he could to encourage her & promote her career. With such stage hits as Seventeen, Serena Blandish, & Ethan Frome, Gordon was one of Broadway's biggest stars of the 1920s & 30s; privately, however, her life was put into shambles by the premature death of her first husband, actor Gregory Kelly. She was the toast of the West End in London during her successful run in The Country Wife. She created the role of Dolly Levi in Thornton Wilder’s The Matchmaker (1956), a role written for her, & the basis of the musical- Hello, Dolly!. She remarried in 1942 to the brilliant playwright Garson Kanin, 16 years younger than her. It was a union that lasted more than 4 decades.

Combining stage work with appearances in such films as Abe Lincoln in Illinois (1940) , Gordon began to collaborate with Kanin on writing projects, with such delightful results as the Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn comedies Adam's Rib (1949) & Pat and Mike (1952), as well as the Judy Holliday vehicle- The Marrying Kind (1952). Gordon returned to the cameras for Inside Daisy Clover in 1966, before taking on role of an elderly neighbor in Rosemary's Baby (1968). When receiving an Oscar for her performance, the 72 year old Gordon brought down the house by saying, "You have no idea how encouraging a thing like this can be." Gordon was unforgettable in 2 films from my high school years: Where's Poppa? (1970), in which she played the obscenely senile mother of George Segal, & of course, Harold & Maude (1972), as the freewheeling soul mate of a death obsessed teen, played Bud Cort, who remained her lifelong friend. The story of her early life was made into a film- The Actress, directed by George Cukor, with a screenplay by Ruth Gordon. She was portrayed by Jean Simmons & Spencer Tracy played her father. She was born 113 years ago today.

“When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.”

“The great have no friends. They merely know a lot of people”.



"The kiss. There are all sorts of kisses, from the sticky confection to the kiss of death. Of them all, the kiss of an actress is the most unnerving. How can we tell if she means it or if she's just practicing?"


"The best impromptu speeches are the ones written well in advance."


"To be somebody you must last."


"Never give up; and never, under any circumstances, no matter what - never face the facts."


"If you believe, then you hang on. If you believe, it means you've got imagination, you don't need stuff thrown out on a blueprint, & never face the facts-what can stop you? If I don't make it today, I'll come in tomorrow."

This Will Make You Smile... Or Cry, It All Depends Upon Your Hormones...

Thanks to Aunt Barb for sending this to me today...

I am PMSing so it made me cry...

Seriously...

It is pretty amazingly awesome though-and it made me cry because I thought of all of the parents who were so proud of their girls-and it made me think of my kids and how proud I am of them...

And that is why I cried...

And ate a pound of chocolate chips that I was planning on using to make cookies with...

So now I have puffy eyes and am fat...

Thanks Aunt Barb....

Dear Oozing, Gum-Chewing Eyelids of Mine,

Your timing couldn't be more exemplary: Halloween! What a wonderful time to have conjunctivitis. It's very festive to go around seeing the world in a cloudy haze. You can all go ahead and turn off your expensive fog machines, now (unless you have one of those cool ones that also makes maniacal laughing sounds... BWaHahAHHaaA! You leave that bad boy on ALL YEAR, you hear me?). All you have to do is simply touch your eyeball to my eyeball and watch the thin string of slime that connects us in conjunctive matrimony as it stretches between our mutual gaze- and then in a few short hours, you'll get the very same, all natural visual effect. I will be starting a pink eye selling stand at the end of my driveway later this afternoon, when all the kids are walking home from school. Or maybe I'll hand out pink eye instead of Halloween treats. Who knows? Heaven knows, I'm full of money saving ideas these days.

What was really fun, though, was when I took 3 kids to the dentist yesterday, not fully realizing that I actually looked like someone had lubricated my eyeballs in vanilla pudding (HA. You'll never eat pudding again. This is great for your diet). They were fine when I left, I swear- perhaps a titch itchy but that can be easily blamed on the kitten (like most things that go wrong in my life. Damn you, kitten, for messing with my taxes!!). By the time I arrived, I looked like a viral monkey.


Now whenever I want to bat my eyelashes at the imaginary pool boy or a Canadian celebrity, such as Rick Mercer, I'll have to put on some kind of germ proof barrier, or wear one of those ducky yellow suits that Dustin Hoffman wore in Outbreak. Then maybe a hole will be accidentally punctured in the suit, leaving everyone vulnerable, as I lean over the hospital bed in despair as Rene Russo dies. I hope you're happy, Conjunctivitis. I hope you're reeeeeal happy.

Love Michelle.

"His Hair Was Perfect" ...Perfect For This Time Of The Year #4

"He's the hairy-handed gent that's run amuck in Kent"
I loved this song from the first moment I heard it in October 1978. That is bassist John McVie & drummer Mick Fleetwood of Fleetwood Mac doing back up on the original. Werewolves of London was the richly talented Warren Zevon's only top 40 hit. R.I.P.


Pina Colada :
2 oz light rum
5 oz pineapple juice
2 oz cream of coconut
pineapple slice

1. Using a shaker filled with ice, combine all ingredients.
2. Shake well.
3. Strain into a collins glass & garnish with pineapple slice & other fruits
4. Check hair in mirror
5. Imbibe
6. Howl at moon

Blast From The Past- Relax

25 years ago, Frankie Goes To Hollywood was the #1 act in the world, with the #1 single, the often banned from radio- Relax. Soon after, internal problems with the various members meant the end of the band, as lead singer/lyricist Holly Johnson & Paul Rutherford left the group. Johnson then discovered that he was HIV positive,  & thinking he had a short time to live, wote his autobiobraphy- A Bone In My Flute. Johnson is still with us, thank you God. He realized a life long dream of going to art school & he has become a much exhibited painter.
Next week is the release of Frankie Says Greatest & I can't wait. I think I will buy it as a CD, instead of a download, because it has the best cover of the year.

Hope For The Hopeless... Happy Birthday, Brett Dennnen & Ben Harper

A singer/songwriter from the Bay Area, Brett Dennen has been on my monthly playlists for 6 months with his songs: Crazy, Ain't No Reason, She's Mine, & especially HEAVEN (fast becoming 1 of my all time favorites).  Heaven is a hymn & an anthem & a beautiful, striking & inspiring song. There are several versions out there, but I recommend the duet version with Natalie Merchant. Here he is live:


Today is also the Birthday of Brett's friend Ben Harper. They are both deeply invloved in the very worthy Love Speaks organization.

More book store frugality (is that a word? Yes it is. Yes it is. Is too.)

One day, when I'm ultra famous, this play that I've just painstakingly written will be played in the great playhouses all over the world:

Me: I'd like to return this book.

Clerk: Okay, is there a reason?

Me: It's tripe.

Clerk: You've read it?

Me: Um... if I've read it, can I still return it?

Clerk: Have you?

Me: Hm? Um.... Noooo.

Clerk: Then why are you returning it?

Me: Um.. I don't like the cover.

Clerk: That's not a valid reason.

Me: It's haunted... I mean it was a gift from one of my stalkers. It would be inappropriate to keep it.

Clerk: Your name is on the receipt.

Me: I have 8 more of them. That's too many.

Clerk: Lady, this isn't a library.

Me: I know. It's even better- there is coffee here.

Clerk: There are 43 people waiting behind you.

Me: They probably bought this stupid book, too and want to return it, because it's lousy. I mean- I didn't read it and they probably didn't either.

Clerk: You know what? Fine. *chaching*

Me: Sucker. I totally read it.

Clerk: *rolls eyes*.. I know.

---------------------six minutes later---------------------

Me: Hi. I'd like to buy this book.

Clerk: History of Madness, huh?

Me: Here is Neil's rewards card. That's 10% off for me, right?

Clerk: Are you Neil?

Me: ... Yes. I am. I'm Neil. I have hairy legs and sometimes I wear a kilt. I'm a college teacher. I mean professor. I like homemade muffins.

Clerk: Uh huh... And you'll leave after I do this?

Me: For now.

Clerk: Excellent.

Me: Which days do you usually work?

Clerk: You should get a library card.

Me: Nah. I can't be bothered to return the books... too many fines. Ech.

Great Moments In Advertising #5... Levi's "Go Forth!"

"Pioneers… oh pioneers… come my tanned faced children… get your weapons ready… have you your pistols?"


I have been very struck by the current Levi’s ads that feature lines from Walt Whitman’s Poem America. The ads are produced by Portland’s own Wieden + Kennedy, a very productive & interesting agency with a very groovy headquarters in the Pearl District. I was knocked out of my seat to discover that the narration is actually the poet’s voice from a wax cylinder recording. At first I wondered if it was right to use America’s most important poets to shill for jeans, but I realized that Levi’s are as an American brand as the bard himself & they are a product that was actually around during Whitman’s lifetime. A quentiessential American Brand with words by the most American of poets. Wieden + Kennedy is the agency responsible for Nike’s “Just Do It”, & I think I am just as inspired by the Levi’s spot’s “Go Forth”.

I always appreciate advertising that feature males with their shirts off.

As God Is My Witness... She Will Be Potty Trained Before College!

I am coming to you from my kitchen table where I just ate my daughter's waffles after I vowed to not eat a stitch of food today because I have somehow packed on a few "winter" pounds in the past few weeks.

Thank God for sweatshirts...

Anyway, I am in the throws of potty training... the trenches of toilet procedures.... up to my elbows in little butts.... and I am pulling my hair out!

My little one refuses to use the potty chair. That is right, she outright REFUSES! She has YET to even put a little drop of tinkle in that chair-and the amazing thing is, that if she did tinkle in there she would discover that a little song will play and it will probably scare the shit out of her as well! Two birds-one stone.

I don't know why I am failing at this-I mean, I have successfully potty trained 3 other children, and several dogs. How hard can this be? Why am I forgetting how to do this? Is it true that breast feeding does suck your brains right out of your boobs and after 4 kids I am finally destined to ride on the short bus?

Sigh...

My first child was a dream to potty train-but aren't the first children a dream to get them to do anything... they are so perfect. That is where God gets you to have more children-he fools you with the perfect one first and then you decide to have a second which is NOTHING like the perfect first born... but somehow the second one tugs at your heart strings and you think about having another-God's way of fooling you AGAIN! The third is the drama filled one that makes you vow to never have "relations" for fear that more tantrums will ensue (your own, not the children's') until one fateful night with Tequila and cold medicine that messes up your ovulation schedule and you say something like "I'm fine... sreallys, I vovulated lassssst weeek." and before you know it you are potty training child number FOUR and have forgotten all of your tricks and rules and you have become a push over from all of the children working on your mental stability day in and day out for all eternity!

Big Sigh...

It is like she is outsmarting me. Her bladder must be the size of a whales because she can hold it for an entire morning-sitting in wait for me to have to put that diaper on her because we are out of milk and she knows that I will have to take her to the store. We have been out of milk now for 5 days because I have refused to leave the house with her for fear that she will pee in her diaper! We are also out of toilet paper-but paper towel works in a pinch and I'll be DAMNED if I won't stand my ground!

She usually has an "accident" and I am using the word "accident" reluctantly because she always does it on the hardwood kitchen floor. I figure she does it this way because she has seen the dog sit out in the cold for HOURS after she has peed on the carpet.

So I am coming to you all... my trusted friends who have done it all, seen it all, and achieved it all! Do you have any secrets for me to use to get her to tinkle on the toilet?

PLEASE!!!!! I will try anything right now-I am willing to even try electric shock therapy (on myself of course!)

Don't fail me now Six-Packers.... I am sending up the bat signal, which is in the shape of a toilet-not a bat, and counting on you!

Kthanksbye!

“Photography Takes An Instant Out Of Time, Altering Life By Holding It Still.” Dorothea Lange

Click on the photos to enlarge... it is worth it.

I purchased these 2 photographs together as a pair, & I could not be more thrilled when I had them in my hands & I was trying to act nonchalant as I asked the dealer for a price. This pair of snapshots have a prominent place in the display. I don't mean to gloat, but I love owing & living with these photos!

Born On This Day- October 26th... Secretary Of State Hillary Rodham Clinton

She has really inspired me: if you study hard, work hard, marry right, persevere over adversity & prejudice, gain the confidence of your peers, hold yourself with dignity when the entire world knows that your husband received head from some young thing, raise a lot of money, exceed at public debate & express yourself well, conquer your detractors, & gain the support of those who have been pressed down by the majority… you too, can come in 2nd place. Happy Birthday, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Birthday Roll Call... October 26th's Men

Here are 5 men that I like & admire, & they all share a birthday!

D.W. Moffit, Dylan McDermott, Tom Cavenaugh, Keith Urban, & Anthony Rapp. Which one is openly gay? Which ones are on my I-Pod? Which ones have "played gay"? Which one would Stephen most like to make out with? Which one do you want to make out with? Happy Birthday to 5 interesting, talented, hot men!

Born On This Day- October 26th... B-52 Keith Strickland

Keith Strickland is "the cute one" with that "tacky little party band from Athens Georgia"

Originally, Strickland was the band's drummer, but following the 1985 death of Ricky Wilson, the band's guitarist and another founding member, he moved from the drums to guitar. Strickland has also played keyboards on many of the B-52's recordings, and has sung backup vocals on a handful of songs. Like both other male members of the B-52's - lead singer Fred Schneider & the late Ricky Wilson, Strickland is openly gay. Keith lives with his partner in Woodstock NY, Athens GA, & Key West.

Perfect For This Time Of Year 3- VAMPIRES By Pet Shop Boys

Brother, it don't matter
Sister, don't worry
Say what you like
I'll do what you want me to do
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


Sun in the kitchen
Boy, you're still sleeping
When you get hungry
I'll do what you want me to do
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

Night in the city
New Orleans pretty
Do what you want
& then can I do it to you?
You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

It's a reflex
Just a reflex
like fear or sex


Brother, it don't matter
Sister, don't worry
Say what you like
I'll do what you want me to do


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too


You're a vampire
I'm a vampire too

Late For Dinner, But Early For Breakfast... We have a WINNER!

Okay... I realize that I said I would put up the winner on Monday, and yes I realize that I meant (and I know that you know that I know) that it was supposed to be LAST Monday... but TODAY is the first day of the rest of your lives people, and it is also a Monday, and the winner is about to be announced... in a very clean way-a way so clean that you will be happy that I waited so long and spent so much time researching "clean" things to put on here.

Trust me...

Okay so I put all 43 comments into my handy dandy "Random Integer Generator" and after only 86 clicks of the "again" button I came up with a WINNER!

Oh relax, I did not click the again button 86 times, I only clicked it once and came up with a winner... (this statement is so that none of you sue me for a box of tanning wipes because you cry FOUL to the big man, otherwise knows as "The Government") pfffft.

Soooo...

The winner is: Comment #3

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:3
Timestamp: 2009-10-26 13:37:20 UTC

That means You Jenny! Congratulations! Jenny likes to drink "Smart Water" which makes her glow with happiness and joy and tells her the winning numbers to the lottery every week! This is some amazing water folks!

Anyway... Jenny if you could email me at six-pack@live.com with your address I will send your Loreal tanning wipes out to you post hast-in time for you to try them out before your wedding and if they don't work, in time for you to exfoliate the hell out of yourself to get the tan off before your wedding!

Now, while I was reading all of your comments I realized that other than Buzzy's words of beauty wisdom and Cousin Steve's confused look at bacon grease and condoms, we did not get many winter beauty secrets from our male readers.

This means that men sit around all winter itching their dry skin and never realizing that they can use something other then soap and water to make themselves radiate a healthy glow that comes from spending hundreds of dollars on beauty products! Pfft, they are such simple creatures.

Do you know of any men who have a beauty regime? I mean... men who wear baseball caps, work boots, drive diesel engines and don't shave on the weekends? Do you know any of THOSE type of men who have beauty secrets?

Yeah, me neither....

I do know men who wear loafers, argyle sweaters, drive smart cars and shave every day of their life so they don't break out on Monday mornings who have beauty regimes...

But they usually don't pay attention to women... they pay attention to other men who have beauty regimes.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

But I prefer a man who cleans out the dirt from under his nails with his pocket knife.

So other than your man occasionally using the beauty products that are in your shower... that are YOURS and that you spend a lot of money on-and chances are you have no idea that they have been using your exfoliating gloves until you put them on one morning and find black curly hairs on them (ARGHHHHHHHHHH!) I think it is safe to say that men don't pay much attention to having soft skin.

Unless it is your soft skin, then they pay attention (which is why we spend hundreds of dollars on our beauty secrets... oh the evil web men weave!)

And they don't have to wear make up.

And they don't use conditioner... heck, they don't even use shampoo, Dial soap works just fine for them (and the only reason why they use Dial is because they giggle in the shower when they spell it backwards.)

And they don't have to get pedicures or manicures.

And they don't have to wax their body parts.

And they get their hair cut for $6.

JEEZ!

But I am thankful for my beauty secrets... because without them I would apparently look like a MAN, and I dressed up like a man once for a "role playing mystery dinner" party, and I am not an attractive man, so I am glad I am a woman who has to use twenty different lotions and change my conditioner every other month and shave my legs, pits, and other areas, and sleep in fuzzy socks because I have thick goo spread between my toes so that I am soft and delicate and the only thing rough about me is my attitude when you mess with one of my peeps! That is right! Damn Straight! *giggle*

I am also going to try many of your beauty secrets, like hibernating under my down comforter, going to a spa, Aquaphor, and mojitos in Florida.

Thanks Six-packers! You are the BOMB!

OH-and one more secret for you... although it is not a beauty secret but it may very well make you smile big with your newly whitened teeth because you smeared them with strawberries last night... if you google "men showering" you may get an eyeful! Nothing that I would ever put on this blog and nothing that I will ever look at again as I have erased my history so I am not tempted (yep) but I will leave it up to you as to whether or not you want to say "Oh my-isn't that nice" this Monday Swoon Morning.

So go forth and moisturize my friends~

Now get back to work!

"As I Look Back Over My Life, I Am Struck By Post Cards, Ruined Snapshots, Faded Posters Of A Time... I Can't Recall” Jim Morrison

From my Collection of Men Together photographs. Aren't these men handsome? I have a series of 2 men &  their cars. Want to see more?

Perfect For This Time Of The Year 2

Portland's own Chris Botti (Botti rhymes with hottie) & Sting, 2 musicians that I admire a great deal & I have many CDs by both, solo & together, in my music collection. I am crazy about this song & it seems perfect for this time of the year: Moon Over Bourbon Street. Beautiful, seductive & a bit scary:

People of Walmart- Living the Dream.

Neil and I were invited to a very ostentatious dinner party tonight. It was wonderful that there was a 'scary' dress code, because it gave us an opportunity to fulfill our dream of being real. live. Walmart people. Nothing is scarier. Nothing.

I know. It is such a convincing belly; and pretty flattering.

Just like in High School.

Isn't he HANDSOME? He even cut his own hair for the occasion. *swoon* THAT is dedication.

Yep. Alert Readers, you've probably noticed that those ARE the mudflap girl pants I bought for him for Christmas three years ago. I'm just so glad they can be put to such rigorous, good use.

We were thrilled that the dessert platter of Joe Louis cakes & twinkies were so well received at the party. For real. Everyone secretly loves twinkies. The pork rinds, though... I couldn't bear to let anyone actually eat them... ewww.

Also, I want everyone to note how artfully Minnie Mouse's fingers are caressing my fake belly button. Gross eh? It's perfect.

Swanky, huh?