Cakes with one little candle are the cutest things ever.
Almost.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Remembering...
I had a great childhood... I really did. It was packed with adventure and intrigue... and I am sure there were days that my mother truly wondering if I was going to survive, or rather, if she was going to survive to see me become an adult.
I was a scrappy little kid who my mother would tell me that I smelled "like the great outdoors" and I thought that was a compliment.
You all know that I have an older sister (who is so much better than me that I am thankful everyday that I have her on my side) and a younger sister (who is also better than me, but sometimes I convince her to visit the bad side with me and we have to go to confession after our time together) but what you may not know is that I also have an older brother.
His name was Sean and he passed away when we were kids. He was great and not a day goes by that I do not think of him or wish that he was here, telling me I am being inappropriate or telling me that my hair looks stupid this way.
I have missed having an older brother to watch out for me, to tell me not to do something and when I did do something, to be there to clean it up and protect me.
Don't get me wrong-I know for a fact that my brother is watching out for me. How else would you explain the mere fact that I am still here and not in jail, or worse, at the top of that water tower that my college friends all wanted to climb after a night of partying.
.
Friend A: "Hey-look at the water tower-when did they put that up?"
Friend B: "That has always been there... I wonder what they use it for."
Me: "I bet you can go swimming in there."
Friend A: "Hey look! There is a ladder up to the top."
Friend B (running toward the tower): "I bet you can see the boys college across town from up there!"
Friend A (running past friend B): "I wonder if I will be able to see that jerk Ned Smiley."
Friend B: "Why would you want to see him?"
Friend A: "No reason" (sidenote... friend A and Ned are now married)
Me: "Last one up is a skunked beer!"
This was all fine and great until we got to the part where the ladder starts to go outward because we all know what a water tower is shaped like and there is a point in which you have to actually climb up and out to get over the hump at the top. Now, I could have continued and eventually fallen to my death, but my brother was surely in Heaven looking down at me saying "What is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Get down idiot!"
And we did get down... but not without writing in pen "June wuz here" for all to see... because ball point pen can be seen for miles right? At least that is what a drunk would think.
Anyway... I eventually met and fell in love with a boy from my hometown, a boy that was actually in my brother's kindergarten class so how cool is it that Carl knew him? So cool. So a few years ago it was time for Carl's High School reunion.
He went to a different high school than me, so I didn't think I would know anyone there (and because he is 4 years older than me so why would I know such old people?) But the first night of the reunion weekend they had a "mixer" at a favorite hometown eating establishment (read:bar) and I was sitting listening to Carl and his twin brother talk to people about the good ol' days, the days when Carl was a drummer in a rock band and had long hair that he used to perm and wore spandex pants and tied bandannas around this wrists and ankles (this is all before my time... he had cleaned up his act before we met-but he is still a rock star at heart).
I was scanning the room when I saw someone that looked very familiar but I could not place him. I started to walk toward him because I was sure I knew him and I just needed to focus in order for my brain to remember. By the time I got to him I was pretty sure I knew exactly who he was.
It was Tony Tazarial, the little boy that was my brother's best friend and lived across the street from us when we were little. They moved away shortly after Sean passed away and I had never again see him-I was probably 4 the last time I saw him and he was 8-but I knew without a doubt that this was him.
Now, this next part of the story is my favorite story of all time. It is the story that I think back to and smile. It is the story that my mom likes me to retell to her, and it is the story that makes me know that my brother is close and that no one has forgotten who he was...
Tony and I looked at each other and I smiled. "Are you Tony Tazarial?"
He looked at me and nodded "Yeah... you are Sean's little sister right?"
Those were the best words that anyone could have ever uttered to me and I beamed and nodded. That is exactly who I am...
He went on to ask me how my parents were doing and we talked about what he had been doing and his parents and eventually ended the conversation with him saying "Say hello to your mom and dad for me." and walked away.
I realized that I am not the only one that carries my brother with me-my siblings and my parents are not the only ones that remember him. He touched other people-good people, who remember.
And that is just awesome.
I was a scrappy little kid who my mother would tell me that I smelled "like the great outdoors" and I thought that was a compliment.
You all know that I have an older sister (who is so much better than me that I am thankful everyday that I have her on my side) and a younger sister (who is also better than me, but sometimes I convince her to visit the bad side with me and we have to go to confession after our time together) but what you may not know is that I also have an older brother.
His name was Sean and he passed away when we were kids. He was great and not a day goes by that I do not think of him or wish that he was here, telling me I am being inappropriate or telling me that my hair looks stupid this way.
I have missed having an older brother to watch out for me, to tell me not to do something and when I did do something, to be there to clean it up and protect me.
Don't get me wrong-I know for a fact that my brother is watching out for me. How else would you explain the mere fact that I am still here and not in jail, or worse, at the top of that water tower that my college friends all wanted to climb after a night of partying.
.
Friend A: "Hey-look at the water tower-when did they put that up?"
Friend B: "That has always been there... I wonder what they use it for."
Me: "I bet you can go swimming in there."
Friend A: "Hey look! There is a ladder up to the top."
Friend B (running toward the tower): "I bet you can see the boys college across town from up there!"
Friend A (running past friend B): "I wonder if I will be able to see that jerk Ned Smiley."
Friend B: "Why would you want to see him?"
Friend A: "No reason" (sidenote... friend A and Ned are now married)
Me: "Last one up is a skunked beer!"
This was all fine and great until we got to the part where the ladder starts to go outward because we all know what a water tower is shaped like and there is a point in which you have to actually climb up and out to get over the hump at the top. Now, I could have continued and eventually fallen to my death, but my brother was surely in Heaven looking down at me saying "What is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Get down idiot!"
And we did get down... but not without writing in pen "June wuz here" for all to see... because ball point pen can be seen for miles right? At least that is what a drunk would think.
Anyway... I eventually met and fell in love with a boy from my hometown, a boy that was actually in my brother's kindergarten class so how cool is it that Carl knew him? So cool. So a few years ago it was time for Carl's High School reunion.
He went to a different high school than me, so I didn't think I would know anyone there (and because he is 4 years older than me so why would I know such old people?) But the first night of the reunion weekend they had a "mixer" at a favorite hometown eating establishment (read:bar) and I was sitting listening to Carl and his twin brother talk to people about the good ol' days, the days when Carl was a drummer in a rock band and had long hair that he used to perm and wore spandex pants and tied bandannas around this wrists and ankles (this is all before my time... he had cleaned up his act before we met-but he is still a rock star at heart).
I was scanning the room when I saw someone that looked very familiar but I could not place him. I started to walk toward him because I was sure I knew him and I just needed to focus in order for my brain to remember. By the time I got to him I was pretty sure I knew exactly who he was.
It was Tony Tazarial, the little boy that was my brother's best friend and lived across the street from us when we were little. They moved away shortly after Sean passed away and I had never again see him-I was probably 4 the last time I saw him and he was 8-but I knew without a doubt that this was him.
Now, this next part of the story is my favorite story of all time. It is the story that I think back to and smile. It is the story that my mom likes me to retell to her, and it is the story that makes me know that my brother is close and that no one has forgotten who he was...
Tony and I looked at each other and I smiled. "Are you Tony Tazarial?"
He looked at me and nodded "Yeah... you are Sean's little sister right?"
Those were the best words that anyone could have ever uttered to me and I beamed and nodded. That is exactly who I am...
He went on to ask me how my parents were doing and we talked about what he had been doing and his parents and eventually ended the conversation with him saying "Say hello to your mom and dad for me." and walked away.
I realized that I am not the only one that carries my brother with me-my siblings and my parents are not the only ones that remember him. He touched other people-good people, who remember.
And that is just awesome.
Friday, January 30, 2009
I pledge my allegiance to Dale
I just want you all to know that I have not crapped out on boot camp. I am still going. Sure, I'm delirious by the end of the workout, and I seem to be the only one who thinks that I'm intensely funny... but I'm there, dammit. And what do they expect me to say if they're going to play dance-country music at 6 am while asking me to do 'the dirty dog'? Am I not supposed to heckle that?? How can that even be ignored? It's scientifically impossible for me. How can I not spell dyslexic swear words in the air with my weights instead of the alphabet? How?
I dunno, maybe I should stop putting rum in my breakfast smoothies.
I've noticed that the class size has diminished by appx half, too. Wieners.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
That Was Then... This Is Now... When Is Tomorrow?
Around Christmas time, Stupid Fat Hobbit put this picture from 2007 on his blog. It is of Hobbit and his wife and Carl and I at a Christmas party (this was the first time I met Hobbit and I got drunk off of the wine that Marva's husband was buying and we instantly became friends.) You can see a larger version of this photog over at his blog... but I am good with keeping it small here.
*Update* For all of you saying "Whatever!" You have to remember that I had more lycra on my body than a cirque du soleil performer in a Celine Dion freak show for that Christmas party. When I took it off it was quite literally like a explosion of cellulite. Not pretty... not pretty at all. But this also proves my point that we are never happy with ourselves and we are, somedays, our own worst enemies.
Awful I know. Look at my hair! You know what I did? I got pregnant and cut my long hair off, which is usual for me when my hormones are nuts. I will literally call up any hairdresser in the phone book and get an appointment for that day and have them cut off my hair... and the next day I cry and start that long process of growing it back again.
Also, look at my body! I had just had a baby 7 months prior and I literally cringe when I think back to that dark dark time. With my other babies I was able to drop the weight rather quickly-as in, I would walk out of the hospital in my regular jeans... but little Mary did a number on me and I couldn't get rid of the weight.
So when Hobbit posted this pic I wanted to crawl back into bed, but then I thought "Who the hell reads Hobbit besides me? No one will see this."
Until the other day when I received an email from someone saying "Hi, I just was on Stupid Fat Hobbit's blog and holy crap you look different!" (some people are just so cruel) and then I went to the refrigerator and proceeded to get disgustingly drunk and make prank phone calls to my Cousin Steve asking if "Hugh Jass" lived there or if "Eura Snotball" was home.
So I decided to go back to my archives and find the post that I had written about that night and post it with this photo so you would know all of the effort that went into "trying" to look like a human being.
Mistress June On Duty!
Last weekend my husband and I went to a Christmas party. I am not proud, and I fully admit that since the birth of Mary Claire I have basically sat around eating and drinking until I have turned into a chubby mommy. Sometimes chubby looks good on people, on me, well it looks just plain fat.
Last weekend my husband and I went to a Christmas party. I am not proud, and I fully admit that since the birth of Mary Claire I have basically sat around eating and drinking until I have turned into a chubby mommy. Sometimes chubby looks good on people, on me, well it looks just plain fat.
Since this party was a "semi-formal" event, I had to find a dress that actually fit me. I refused to buy a new dress in the size that I am in now for the same reason that I refuse to buy any new pants. I do not plan on being this size forever and I do believe that one day I will wake up and the sense will be knocked back into me and I will set down the cookies and cakes (don't ask me to set down the beer though-that will never happen my friends.) and get back on the road to looking smokin' hot and all.
Today... not so smokin' hot. Not even a little luke warm hot. Today I look like a chubby woman wearing pants a size too small. I fully admit that. If you don't like it, look away.
Anyway, as I was rummaging through my closet I found a simple black dress in a size 8. I considered for a moment slathering my body up with baby oil before attempting to put it on, but I didn't want it to stain.
Instead I headed to the store to buy me a pair of "Spanks." Do you know how much those suckers are? Too much... so I bought a pair of the Hanes knock offs. I may be fat, but I am still money conscious.
That night after my shower and my hair drama, it was time to get dressed. I knew it was time to get dressed because my husband was fully dressed and hovering around me asking me things like "Are you getting close to done?" or "Can you give me a rough estimate as to when you think you may possibly be ready." When he starts to hover, my mood will quickly go from a pleasant one to a bad one. They based the character on the Exorcist movie on my bad moods. So now I was fat, had bad hair, and in a bad mood. Never attempt to put make up on when you are in a bad mood... I think I may have ended up looking a little like Cruella De Vil.
Sooo, it was now time to strap some lycra to my body and squeeze my size 10 hips into a size 8 dress... and my size GAZILLION nursing boobs into a size 8 dress. Success seemed impossible.
When I pulled the Hanes lycra out of the envelope, I thought it was a joke. They looked like they would fit my 4 year old and not me. How in the world was I supposed to put these things on? There I was, naked, sweating, and huffing and puffing as I pulled and tugged the lycra up my body. I turned to look in the mirror and saw that the lycra was forcing all of the fat from my thighs and butt up... I looked like Santa Clause trying to fit down a chimney. As most of you know, putting pantyhose on is not easy... escalate that torture by 1000 and you will get an idea as to what it is like to get this lycra contraption on.
As I was mid-way through my fat pulling, lycra tugging ordeal, I look up to see my husband watching me. The look on his face was one of horror and defeat. I think he may have been fooling himself about my size as well. All of those fantasies where I look like the 18 year old girl with the size 4 hips and the amazing ta-tas were shattered all because he could not leave me the hell alone when I am getting dressed. I don't feel bad though, and he will eventually stop staring into space and shuttering from time to time... I hope.
Eventually I did it. I was lycra'd up from mid thigh to breast and I was SKINNY! Not as skinny as if I would actually get my rear in gear and work a little, but skinny enough to get that size 8 dress on. Sure, my boobs were spilling out over the top, but they had to-they had no where to go! My thighs were actually so skinny that they did not rub against each other when I walked! My tummy was flat and my butt was small. I had won the victory over the fat! I had tricked it into being sucked back into my body for an evening.
When I took the Lycra off later that evening, it shot across the room and hit my husband square in the face. He woke up screaming that night... something about being eaten by a fat monster. I am not sure what that means, but with a little counseling he should be fine.
Now... here is a picture that was taken almost two weeks ago. It has only taken me 20 MONTHS to get back to normal. (Lord above isn't that man handsome. I just love when he wears blue... and look at his smile, just look at it! He has great hands too... so strong.) What was I talking about? Oh yeah... what women think of themselves.
But I am still not happy. Oh, don't look at me and say "June! Why are you not happy?" I am not happy because women in general are never happy with themselves. Why is this? Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we look in the mirror and think that we need to change? I bet that if I asked all of you that "if you could change one thing, what would it be?" Everyone would have an answer ranging from "I hate my butt" to "My hair is too limp." to "Have you seen my boobs? Well neither have I!"
.
And what about when we are feeling good about ourselves and then we see another woman and instantly feel insecure because she is skinnier or has the exact color hair that we wish we could have or she has flawless skin and long eyelashes? Why do we torture ourselves? WHY?
.
When I was in college, my roommate used to look at herself in the mirror every morning as say "I'm tall, I'm thin, and I lose pounds daily for no apparent reason." I need to call her up and see how that is working for her.
.
For today, lets all love ourselves. Let's all look in the mirror and say "Hell yeah I look good!" Because we do... WE REALLY DO!
*Update* For all of you saying "Whatever!" You have to remember that I had more lycra on my body than a cirque du soleil performer in a Celine Dion freak show for that Christmas party. When I took it off it was quite literally like a explosion of cellulite. Not pretty... not pretty at all. But this also proves my point that we are never happy with ourselves and we are, somedays, our own worst enemies.
MyStERiOuSnESs....>>..>>S>>.
Guess what, Power Pals!
Someone snuck & shoveled my driveway while I sat on my duff at Boston Pizza this afternoon. I left home, ignoring the foot of snow that fell yesterday, fully expecting to have to come home and drive over it again and again until it was packed flat (and thusly, no longer a problem)- but when I got home, it was all gone, Readers! Magically! It might have been magic... Or perhaps there is something about going to Boston Pizza that causes people to feel charity toward me- since the last time Libby and I were there, a stranger bought us our Shirley Temples while we waited for take-out. I tell you, I thought of several other viable explanations until I spotted THIS on my driveway:
!1!!!!
Yep. See that? I know what you're thinking and you are on the right track. It was Scooby Doo. (Or a guy in a tiny bear costume...)
Mystery. Solved.
Mystery. Solved.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Swooning Over A Regular Joe...
The other day someone told me that women tend to "swoon" over obscure men (like movie stars, professional athletes, and the occasional man in uniform) whereas men tend to "swoon" over... well all women, obscure or the neighbor down the street, which solidified my thoughts that men are just weird and women are normal, but what do I know? I am just a woman who swoons over obscure men.
My daughter Abigail, on the other hand, came right on time and is a joy in a different way. I always figured that people create the differences between girls and boys. I see how wrong I was. Girls are just different. Still, I love to play with her and see how she nurtures her ponies (My Little Ponies are a favorite), and the cat, and her brother. In some sort of basic way, I think I get her joy in that. Now don't get me wrong, she loves a great burp or a good splash in the mud. She's a puzzle I guess. She loves her pink cowgirl boots and will use them to kick her brother squarely in the shins when he doesn't take her nurturing the right way! (Atta girl Abigail!)
You can find more of this Regular Joe that is completely swoon worthy over at
http://www.myhomeamongthehills.com/
Anyway, this statement got me thinking... it is really time for another Swoon-worthy man!
But I decided to do something different. I went to the Board of Trustees at Cleaverland and asked them to please think of something new. My mother thought I needed to put more ads for boxed wine on here. Aunt Barb wanted more chocolate references. Aunt Judi wanted me to do a post on her fuzzy eyes. Cousin Steve wanted to start doing his own posts on here... but we all know where that would lead don't we? So I looked to the last board member (me) and I decided that I would start a "Regular Joe" showcase... or swooncase, however you want to look at it.
You all know who "Regular Joe" is don't you? He is my husband and your husband. The unsung heroes of our lives. The men that put up with us and always find their way home each evening after work. The guy that kills the spiders in the bathroom, opens lids and jars for us, parallel parks the van for us... that guy (thanks Hobbit for reminding me of all the things men do for their wives.)
So I have scoured the Internet for the first Regular Joe winner. I tried to get my husband to do it, but he said it he was too busy... something about planes and missions and blah blah blah...
Ladies of the Six-Pack, I would like to introduce you to Emily's husband ... our very first "Regular Joe" who is worthy of a swoon or two:
Warren and his family have a great blog about their lives in West Virginia. From what I can tell, he is the kind of guy that doesn't mind pushing his sleeves up and working the land. He has more interests than the economic stimulus plan and a person would be blind if they did not see how much he loves his kids and wife-which in my book makes him more swoonworthy than Brian Urlacher (you have no idea how hard that was for me to write.) I first asked Warren to ask his wife if he could do this, and then we sat down (figuratively) and talked. Well, I quickly found out that Warren loves to talk. I mean, they say that women are big talkers who need to say at least 25,000 words in a day, but Warren here has all women beat because he basically spoke a novel about himself. Seriously, if I just print off this post and send it to a publisher, it will be on the shelves of Barnes and Noble with the title He Who Talks To Bees... and Talks... and Talks... and Talks.
Let me give you a little background on Warren. He is a bee farmer who also does technical stuff. He has big biceps and a bald head. He loves his wife and he loves to can just about any vegetable out there--even some Romanesco Broccoli!
Here is his interview:
JC: Hey Warren-thanks for doing this. I have no idea what I am going to ask you and I have no idea how this post will go, but I promise to make you look good. I just need you to think like a complete and total man when you answer these questions-so go out and chop some wood, go hunting, change the oil in the truck, get stung by a bee, and then toss your wife over your shoulder and drag her into your bedroom before you even think of answering any of these questions. Okay? Are you ready... let's see what we come up with shall we?
W: Cool! I drank a fifth of whiskey this morning for breakfast so I should be ready... oh yeah, and I ate a box of nails too!
Occupation: Software Engineer/Love God
How long have you lived in WV? 3 years. It's a great place but it helps if you have either 3 legs or if one leg is longer than the other. Everything is on a hillside here. (Does anyone else think that the "3rd leg" line is something you would hear in a West Virginia bar? I thought so.)
Any good childhood stories we need to know about? There are a few...I used to pick on my younger brother all the time. We fought like brother do. Anyhow, he had enough of my crap one day. Somehow e talked me into tying a rope around my belt loops. Seizing the opportunity, he threw the line over a hanger and hoisted me up in the air. He tied it off and left me hanging. Eventually my belt loops broke and I escaped, but I've been into bondage ever since...uh...never mind. Just kidding. (Warren also told me stories about fireworks, setting his dad's car on fire, working at a bait shop, and other times in his life when he has fought death and won, but this is only a 30 minute program so I had to edit.)
Are you an environmentalist? Sort of...I am not fanatic to the point of blowing up Hummers and oil refineries but I think that we can and should do better about conserving resources, recycling, having a lower impact, etc. Aside from one's belief in global warming, it just makes economic sense to use less and to spend less and keep the environment cleaner. Regardless of whether our planet is getting warmer, I prefer clean air and skinny dipping in the river without fear of growing extra parts or losing the parts I have! (I didn't pay one bit of attention to anything he just said until he mentioned skinny dipping... )
Tell me about your kids: Isaac is now 9. He was born 2 months early under extreme duress. You can read all about it on my blog (search for preemie). To get you up to speed, he nearly died and we were told he would have a host of problems. Here we are 9 years later and his only problem is that he has some hearing loss (we were prepared for deafness from some meds he received). I can't explain how watching that helpless little baby, so sick, yet so tough, changed me forever. I can't think of it without crying. Dang it, I am crying right now. (Awww... that right there is what won him this prestigious position) Anyhow, he has always been so special and I love him so much. I think I learned early on how important he is to me. I know you innately love your kids, but I think I got a helping of "even deeper love" by almost losing him.
.
My daughter Abigail, on the other hand, came right on time and is a joy in a different way. I always figured that people create the differences between girls and boys. I see how wrong I was. Girls are just different. Still, I love to play with her and see how she nurtures her ponies (My Little Ponies are a favorite), and the cat, and her brother. In some sort of basic way, I think I get her joy in that. Now don't get me wrong, she loves a great burp or a good splash in the mud. She's a puzzle I guess. She loves her pink cowgirl boots and will use them to kick her brother squarely in the shins when he doesn't take her nurturing the right way! (Atta girl Abigail!)
How many ears of corn would you say you have shucked in your lifetime? Hundreds probably. My cousin and uncle (in PA where I grew up) raised cows, field corn and sweet corn. We used to eat it a lot in the summer. My mom cooked out over an open wood fire for most of our suppers in the summer. We ate corn cooked in the coals a lot. I sort of dig messing with our corn because I have a gigantic knife I use to cut the stalks. I get the "Banana song" in my head (Come mister tally man tally me bananas) and get to work! (What? Giant Knife?)
Tell me about being a bee keeper...I sort of got into it on accident. I was bored at work on day and started searching for random things that came to mind. I saw there was a beekeeping club near my home in TN so I decided to go see what a beehive looked like. That was going to be the end of my interest in bees. Anyhow, one beekeeper invited me to his place to look at his bees and he ended up sending me home with a hive in my truck and I was hooked. I love it now. I really pay attention to the seasons and enjoy doing something old-timer. There aren't too many beekeepers under the age of 70 so I sort of enjoy that aspect of it. I guess I also like the danger part. People think I am all brave and tough (oh, I am ...don't doubt that!). It can be dangerous to keep bees if you don't know what you are doing or act like a fool, but bees mostly don't want to sting people. If we handle them correctly and mostly leave them alone, they couldn't care less about us. Some of my hives are right in my yard and we do stuff around them all the time. We typically have no problems at all. Harvesting honey is a lot of fun too. We usually wait for the absolute hottest day in August (not on purpose, it just works out that way) to collect the honey. It's hot, heavy work (big biceps help...see below). You'd think being all slathered up in honey would be fun...and, oh yes, it can be, but not with thousands of angry insects with chips on their shoulders around. Anyhow, it's the only time that the whole family gets involved in beekeeping. It is much easier to process the honey when everyone helps. We get a couple hundred pounds of honey a year. Most we sell but we use a lot too. We never make money at beekeeping but we don't usually lose too much at it either. (And you thought you would never learn anything useful on this blog!)
How many times have you been stung? I am sure I have been stung hundreds of times. I know on a few occasions I have been stung over 20 times at a given episode. I seem to have this thing with females. I go in and tell them how they ought to arrange things, and they get all nasty and make me sleep on the couch for a week...wait, we're talking about bees, yes, the female bees are the ones that sting and they sometimes get testy when I mess with their digs. Typically, I don't get stung at all when I work them. The stings usually come when I drop a frame by accident (or the worst time was when I was removing a nest from the walls of a house). (I love when a man gets stung. He just looks at the bee and flicks it off of him as if it was nothing. Real men get stung.)
Do you have any tattoos? No...I think it would be cool but I can't figure out what I'd want. I thought about my favorite stuff...you know Mt Dew, bees, my cats...but then, I don't want someone else's "can" or "stinger" or...well, anyhow, I can't think of anything I want on me forever. I sort of dig small tattoos on people though...maybe someday. (You could get one of a cat and a bee playing cards drinking mt. dew?)
Is your wife smarter than you? We both know our IQs and we are pretty closely matched on paper. But that's really only half of the story. Of course, she is much smarter than me on some stuff and I am much smarter than her on others. For instance, I know exactly how many sausages I can fit in the frying pan. I have good spatial ability. She gets money and people much better than I do. She has managed our money for our entire married life. Some guys would hate that but I sort of like not having any responsibility...wait, that sounds just like a stereotypical guy. We are such misunderstood creatures. Anyhow, she's just better at tons of stuff than I am. We divide up stuff differently to suit our abilities. (You know he had a long answer but the basic gist of it was "Yes, my wife is smarter than me, and I am so lucky.)
What size is your shoe? I used to be a size 10...but I seem to have shrunk to a size 9.5 lately. I don't know if the shrinkage is due to aging, or the cold temps, or what...I hope my...uh...feet remain average size! (How good of a dancer are you? That is what really matters.)
Any dreams for your children? I have no specific dreams, but like most parents, I suppose, I want them to be good people, I want them to marry good people and to be happy in doing what they enjoy. I also dream of them hitting the Powerball lottery and taking care of me in my old age!
How much of your land do you farm/garden? We live in the city so have little planted at the house. We grow mostly herbs and fruits in the city. We have blueberries, blackberries and apples growing. I am working on chickens for this spring at the house, but that's a work in progress. We also work nearby at my wife's grandparents' land where we tend a 4000 or so square foot garden that they've let us have. We keep bees at our place, at their place, and at 2 other locations in the nearby area.How many vegetables/fruits have you canned? We can everything we can can. We make a salsa that I like to call "@ss in the tub" salsa. We make pizza sauce, pickles of various sorts, green beans...a lot of green beans, peppers, jellies and sauces for ice cream/pancakes/wife's bellybutton. We dehydrate and freeze a lot of stuff too...squash, peppers, tomatoes...about everything we can manage. It saves us a bunch of money since we don't count our hours on the job - it's our hobby. I like staying up late with the wife while we can stuff. We get a chance to chat and dream about stuff. There's something about being up late that does that to me. Just laying in bed doesn't do it....I fall asleep. But put me on task late at night and I'll spill the beans on anything. That's pretty goofy I guess! (Look at that... nothing sexier than a man with some earth rubbed in his wounds. What? That isn't what you all were thinking too?)
Any hobbies we would like to know about? Aside from beekeeping, I also am trying to learn to play violin and I tinker with stained glass. I suck at both though so I don't know if you could call them hobbies or just ways I give away money. Anyhow, I also like tinkering with stuff...not necessarily anything in particular. I just get wild hairs and have to run with them (see violin and stained glass, above). I love to target shoot also but the kids are a little young to make a family affair out of it. I used to hunt but I am sort of over shivering in the cold. I remember deer hunting in the freezing cold and snow in PA one time. A deer walked 10 feet from me and stopped. I already had my rifle up, but I didn't have the hammer pulled (I had a lever action 30-30 with me). My fingers were so frozen I couldn't pull the hammer back or run the lever to get a bullet in the chamber. I was so mad I wanted to throw my rifle at the deer in hopes of getting him that way. Anyhow, now I target shoot. (So you are a beekeeping, violin playing, stained glass making hunter turned target shooter?)
Who taught you how to knit? No one in my family knits so I had to consult the ultimate authority on all things important...the Internet. You tube is great for knitting though I am not too hot even still. I like the looms for knitting. Needle knitting is probably not for me. I have a 3x5 inch square that needs finished as the sweater it was to become is so far off...3x5 is a nice pot holder size, right? Anyhow, the looms are pretty easy. I don't knit a lot but I do dig wearing my homemade hat. I am working on one for my daughter now too. (I once looked up knitting on the Internet but it sent me to a site that I would not recommend to anyone-it was knitting for adults only. You do not want to know what kind of "warmer" they suggested as your first project.)
How big are your biceps? I haven't measured in awhile but the last time they were just under 17 inches...the implants have held up rather nicely! (Nice... That is all I can say. Nice.)
Do you know how to use a chainsaw? Absolutely! I shave with it every morning! Actually, I have been using a chain saw for a long time. I grew up in the woods in NW PA and we heated with wood. My brother and I learned to drive when we were 10 so we could get a truck out of the woods if my Dad got hurt cutting trees. Anyhow, we started splitting wood before we had hair on our chins...in fact, I am pretty sure that the 2 shots of whiskey to keep us warm as well as all of the wood splitting are what put hair on my chest. (Chest hair, chainsaws and splitting wood... you are one sweet talker.)
Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? Twice, and both times were a long time ago. I won of course. Being a benevolent victor, I offered the olive branch to the kids and gave them back their lunch money. (Fighting for a girls honor I am sure.)
What is the most important thing to you? Definitely my family...followed closely by my M*A*S*H dvd collection. Really, my family is most important to me. I work like everyone else but I basically refuse to work over, go on long trips, etc because I want to get home and hang with the family. The kids continue to get more and more interesting and I really enjoy doing stuff with them. My wife has gotten slightly less interesting but she's still pretty cool to do stuff with. Anyhow, we spend a lot of quality time together. We haven't had cable tv in 13 years, mainly because we don't want to be a tv-family. No dig on people who do watch tv, it just isn't for us. Does that sound stupid? Anyhow, we really like doing other things together. Soon, I will get my son to start chopping wood too! He needs hair on his chest! (No wonder you knit-you don't watch TV!)
Do you shave your head or are you just naturally bald and beautiful? I am naturally bald and beautiful though I do a little touch up work on the sides every day. It makes me more aerodynamic. That's critical for my spy work that I do on the side. Did I mention that I also train with Michael Phelps? (It makes you more aerodynamic? That right there is enough for Swoon all by itself.)
Any special traits we need to know about? Hmm...you got bald and beautiful...you got average shoe size...
Can you ask your wife that same question about you please?
This is Warren's wife - I thought up some special traits that are particular to Warren.
He has a third nipple - not the whole thing, just the very end. His grandfather evidently had the same deal. It's pretty small so not grotesque or anything. It was quite a discovery for me though!
The fool let me pierce his ear when we were dating in college. It took a half an hour and I used a needle from my sewing kit. He lied and said it didn't hurt (I basically laid on him to do it so I think he rather enjoyed that part) so I kept on trying until it went through. It was really crooked though so I had to do it all over again. He only wears it now to embarrass me.
He has a freakish thing for stray cats. He can't stand to see them unfed. It's pretty sweet really. We now have 2 indoor cats and about 10 outdoor-only cats that we feed
He can't curl his tongue. Who can't curl their tongue?! (I think I would be GREAT friends with you Emily! and by the way, my husband can't curl his tongue either. What kind of childhood could they have had?)
Do you carry a hammer and a shovel around with you everywhere you go? No...but I never go far without a pocket knife. One never knows when there is a dragon to slay or a wrapper that needs removed! (Ha!)
Who is your hero? My grandpa...he was a tinkerer. He refused to grow old. He has birthdays every year (he'll be 95 this spring), but he never got old. He remained curious and excited about the small things in life...leaves changing, a good cup of coffee, a good garage cuss. He's kind and funny and alive! It's pretty much how I want to be as I tack on the birthdays. (He is on hook for next month's Regular Joe.)
What do you love the most about your wife? I love that she gets me. I am into trying all sorts of stuff and she puts up with all of it. She keeps me on track but lets me run too (if that makes sense). She doesn't love that I have a quarter of a million bees 5 feet from our bedroom window, but she tolerates it. I am curious about so many things and she lets me explore. She reels me back in when I need it too. That sounds sort of like "it's all about me" but I think what I am trying to say is that she is my balance, my other half. I also love that she makes kick-@ss lasagna! (Saint! Your wife is a Saint)
What do you think of women in general? I dig women a lot...I don't mean that in a typical guy way (though I dig women that way too). My mom and grandma were both no-nonsense kinds of women so I have never viewed women as less important, less powerful, etc. None of that ever crossed my mind when I was growing up (either one of them would have clocked me for sure). Of course, I have heard and witnessed a lot of the junk that women put up with and I think it sucks. I know that I don't want my daughter to be treated differently just because she has different parts than a man (that's simplified of course, but, I think you know what I mean). Though, in some ways I do want her to be treated differently. I get disgusted with men who don't treat a woman with respect. I guess I see two sides of women...women in the workplace I view as equals. At my last job in Nashville (before moving to WV) I worked with 3 women in particular who were amazing computer programmers. They were logical, tough, smart...all that stuff that stereotypically keeps women out of, or oppressed in, computer fields. It was an excellent opportunity to solidify my understanding that women are equals at work. On the other hand, I want any guy that spends time with my daughter, to honor her and hold her in higher regard than "one of the guys". (Short answer: "Yes, Warren like wimin.")
What are you wearing right now? HA! I am getting ready for work so I have on khaki brown pants. Aside from jeans, all of my pants are khaki brown. I have 8 pairs. I never have to worry about whether my shirt will match or if my one brown belt will "work" with an outfit. I also only own brown shoes and black socks. Now, the fun part is, I am wearing a shirt that I got sometime in the mid 90s. It's still in great shape and my wife hates it so much...it's what keeps me going! (Oh get on with it! Tell us the truth... that you are wearing carpenter pants, work boots and a white tank top with a tool belt slung around your waist. Why do you tease?)
Okay... that is all I can think of. You don't have to answer anything that you don't want to... but remember, June Cleaver is a fun blog, so no pressure... but be witty for goodness sake! This is pretty cool...I am vain enough I guess to really enjoy this! (I would have never guessed)
All in good taste and good fun. The Six-Pack upholds the right to love men, but also complain about them. I have read your stuff for 6-8 months, so I get it...and I dig it!
Thanks for being such a good sport Warren!
You can find more of this Regular Joe that is completely swoon worthy over at
http://www.myhomeamongthehills.com/
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Book reviews with Judgy Judgerson.
So I'm reading 'Watchmen' by Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons. It's the first graphic novel/comic book type anything I've ever read. I took it with me to Sull's swimming lesson. While there, I sat in the middle of a gaggle of mothers, trying to conceal my giant comic book. Because like.. it's a comic, right? How silly.Then I noticed that about 4/5 of them are reading 'Twilight' or a derivative thereof. I cannot stress enough how baffled I am by people's obsession with this series. I read the first one, trying to figure out the hype around it and I. do. not. get. it. I tried to read the second but no dice. I just don't see the draw. Ah well, at least people are reading. Maybe I am biased toward truly twisted novels... but a teenager in love with a 300 year old vampire just didn't do it for me. I did read her other novel, The Host and it's not too bad. But the Twilight series. Meh. I get it if you're a teenager, I really do. I just don't care to read about a mopey, boy crazy teenager any more than I want to watch Mean Girls or Teenwolf. (Alright, that's a lie. I totally want to watch Teenwolf) . I would have liked it when I was 15, I'm sure... maybe. No.. I liked weird, twisted books. I hear the Sookie Stackhouse series is a more grown up version of similar events. Maybe that'll be more my bag of kittens.
So anyway- At that point, I felt better about my comic. Maybe even smug. *gasp*
It's pretty good so far, though. It's laced with actual chapters and it's different. I recommend it if you're up for swaying from whatever your usual genre is... that is unless you've read it. Then you can just forget I said anything. Or read my blog. Do that. Comment lots.
Also on the list is Obama's book, 'Something Something my father something.' Looks like it'll be good. If I could remember the title- but I can't and I don't feel like looking for it, so tough. You know the one I'm talking about, it was plastered all over the place for a while there.
Sooo. That's my book blog. Now you know what I'm doing.
Speaking of reading... my 10 year old has developed an excellent new vice. Sneaking and reading novels all hours of the night. I have to pretend that I disapprove.
Step Aside Before You Get Trampled...
Do you like to shop? I don't, but I will when there is a sale and let me tell you... do I have a sale for you!
My friend Amy is closing her very adorable children's boutique in Occoquan, Virginia in the next couple of days.
Everything is on sale!
DID YOU HEAR ME? EVERYTHING!!!
Check it out:
http://www.twogirlsandaboy.com/
Tell her that June Cleaver sent you and she will take no more money off of your purchase!
My friend Amy is closing her very adorable children's boutique in Occoquan, Virginia in the next couple of days.
Everything is on sale!
DID YOU HEAR ME? EVERYTHING!!!
Check it out:
http://www.twogirlsandaboy.com/
Tell her that June Cleaver sent you and she will take no more money off of your purchase!
Monday, January 26, 2009
I Read You... I Really Do!
I am sure I have mentioned the blogs that I recommend on my sidebar. Do you see the list? Just turn your head to the right and look down a little... right there... got it? Good.
It is not a very big list is it? Nope.
"Why not June? Don't you know how to read? Why aren't there more blogs on your sidebar for me to click on and be entertained? Do you not have many friends? What is up with THAT?"
Well, the reason why it is not very big is because I am very picky. I know-what a snob I am that I expect everyone on Al Gore's Internet to link to me but I am an itty bitty titty linker.
This is the way I roll... small. I can't help it. I am not an extrovert-honest.
It is small because these are the blogs that I do go over and visit. Some more than others, but basically I feel a connection to these blogs. They are my homies, my posse, my imaginary friends.
What does it take to get on the sidebar? Money.
No, not really... but you could try that route and see if it works.
Basically there is no rhyme or reason to my sidebar... they are mostly perverts and Catholics over there so I am just doing what Jesus would do.
Let me introduce them to you... including our two new links:
Abbey Roads-meet Terry. I just read him because I like his picture, which obviously isn't him... or maybe it is, I am not sure. Oh, and he is also wicked smart on just about everything. If I am ever President, or married to a President, Terry will be the Chairman of the Smart Committee. I promise.
Amy's Friend Jess- Meet Jess. Like Terry she is brand new to the sidebar. I found her because I was "browsing" my "followers" one day and saw her and clicked on her blog. She was talking about a friend of hers that owned a children's store in Virgina named Amy, and it turns out that I am Amy's friend too! In fact, I think Amy is great and she is funny so I figured that any friend of Amy's was a friend of mine so I read on and discovered that not only is Jess so funny that I laugh out loud ever time I click on her, but she is a great writer. She should write a book... and then get it published and tell me who her literary agent is so that I can get my book published simply because I know a published author. That is a good plan don't you think?
Brunette Lover... Gasp Don't click on this guy if you are a liberal or a woman... you will be offended, and that is why I like to read him. Don't click on him if children are in the room. Don't click on him if the DOG is in the room. If you do click on him make sure you have an appointment for confession directly after. Seriously.
Chi-Town Urban Mom - It is funny how people name their blogs, yet when I link to them I sometimes change their names. Anyway-this kid is great. I would love to be her neighbor. We would get arrested and our husbands would have to bail us out, which always makes for good blog fodder.
Elaine I started linking to Elaine after she gave me some of the most amazing information that a a person with OCD (me) would pee their pants over. She told me that the average woman does no less than 25 swipes with the mascara brush on each eyelash. Now, I don't know about you, but that kind of information causes me to start counting things... and ever since then I have counted the number of swipes I make with my mascara EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE! She also said that she knows this information because her husband works for some big make up company so I link to her in hopes that she will eventually send me free make up. So far I have received zip.
Kasia I think Kasia was one of the first people to ever comment on my blog so she is like a friend I have had since elementary school. She knows (and remembers) everything about my family... which is a little creepy, but that is Okay, I know for a fact that her husband has dressed like a woman before (oh, he'll argue that it was a kilt, but whatever) so we are even.
Man With 1000 Children Seriously, he only has 11 with one in the oven... but who is counting. My priest made me start reading him a long time ago because I have this certain irritation for people who jog on the side of the road. I can't help myself, but when I see them I get an overwhelming urge to run them over with my van. When I confessed this to my priest he told me that I had to say 3 Hail Mary's and start reading Rob, who is an avid runner and runs at least a million miles in a week. True story.
Soliloquy I read her because she has a great body-that is about it. No... she is also hi-freakin-larious. Although I think she has me blocked from her comments because I have tried to tell her what I would do to get that $3500 from her husband that she needed, but she either did not like my suggestion or she was so offended that I have been black listed. If you only click on one of these links today-make it hers. You will be happy you did. And while you are there tell her to open her door to let me back in-I am probably hanging out with all the scumbags in the spam waiting room.
Stupid Fat HobbitWe all know Hobbit don't we? I don't know why I link to him... he is an ignorant slut. Oh relax... it is an inside joke. We actually know each other in person (I know, how weird is that?) and I once got him drunk at a party (playing beer pong) and he sometimes has this problem with people not "getting" his jokes... but I get Hobbit, I really do, so when he turned to another party goer and said "Jane you ignorant slut!" I understood the joke completely and laughed (reference SNL Dan Akroyd). Too bad the party goer he called an ignorant slut did not know what he was talking about and was probably offended... but we were drunk and playing pong so all was good with the world.
Sunny-My friend since I was 5 As it says in the title that I have supplied her with, I have known Sunny (or Kathleen as she likes to call herself) since we were 5 and our Dads drank beer together and our Moms were in the Altar-and-Rosary together. She is my oldest friend and part of who I am. We rode our bikes all over town and met many milestones together... like when Chris Cash tried to kiss her in the back of his garage and her mom was calling for her and I pretended like I had no idea where she was, or when we threw her brother's underpants on top of a lamp in his room on vacation and the entire upstairs started to smell like poo, or when we did our Calumet Press paper route together and tossed the papers on people's roofs and in the bushes so that we would just get done quicker. Yep-I love Sunny. She is a liberal... but Congress could learn a lesson from our friendship. We should run the country! Sunny can have California and I'll take the rest of the country. I kid Sunny... you know I am a kidder.
The Pioneer Woman Cooks The Pioneer Woman has no idea who the hell I am because she gets like 5 million comments a day and I am like a fart in the wind to her but I don't care. She is cool and I want to be part of the "in" clique so therefore I link to her so that other people think I am cool by association.
Threedonia-the magnificent 5 or 6... or maybe 7, I'm not sure how many of them there are anymore. I don't remember who these guys are. I know there is a great gal named Wankette that writes for them... but the rest is fuzzy. It is a boys club over there and they humor us ladies simply because they are hairy and smelly and we make them look good. Go check them out, they will welcome you in like the prodigal son and then start a fight with you when you least expect it and make fun of you every chance they get. It is a good time.
So there you have it... my imaginary friends. I am always looking for new friends-and it should be said that I have about 25 applications for friendship in my favorites that I visit, and of course, the 95 of you that have somehow stuck around and not said "This chick is stupid and she has saggy boobs, I am outa here!" I would link to you all if I could, but I like the sidebar to look neat and clean. I also like it to be personal-so until you get personal with me I can't put you up there (although one could argue that The Pioneer Woman has never gotten personal with me, but I explained that already-I want to be cool)
So that is an invitation... get personal, but don't take anything I say personally. Huh?
And Cousin Steve... if you had a blog I would link to you. Seriously. Dude.
It is not a very big list is it? Nope.
"Why not June? Don't you know how to read? Why aren't there more blogs on your sidebar for me to click on and be entertained? Do you not have many friends? What is up with THAT?"
Well, the reason why it is not very big is because I am very picky. I know-what a snob I am that I expect everyone on Al Gore's Internet to link to me but I am an itty bitty titty linker.
This is the way I roll... small. I can't help it. I am not an extrovert-honest.
It is small because these are the blogs that I do go over and visit. Some more than others, but basically I feel a connection to these blogs. They are my homies, my posse, my imaginary friends.
What does it take to get on the sidebar? Money.
No, not really... but you could try that route and see if it works.
Basically there is no rhyme or reason to my sidebar... they are mostly perverts and Catholics over there so I am just doing what Jesus would do.
Let me introduce them to you... including our two new links:
Abbey Roads-meet Terry. I just read him because I like his picture, which obviously isn't him... or maybe it is, I am not sure. Oh, and he is also wicked smart on just about everything. If I am ever President, or married to a President, Terry will be the Chairman of the Smart Committee. I promise.
Amy's Friend Jess- Meet Jess. Like Terry she is brand new to the sidebar. I found her because I was "browsing" my "followers" one day and saw her and clicked on her blog. She was talking about a friend of hers that owned a children's store in Virgina named Amy, and it turns out that I am Amy's friend too! In fact, I think Amy is great and she is funny so I figured that any friend of Amy's was a friend of mine so I read on and discovered that not only is Jess so funny that I laugh out loud ever time I click on her, but she is a great writer. She should write a book... and then get it published and tell me who her literary agent is so that I can get my book published simply because I know a published author. That is a good plan don't you think?
Brunette Lover... Gasp Don't click on this guy if you are a liberal or a woman... you will be offended, and that is why I like to read him. Don't click on him if children are in the room. Don't click on him if the DOG is in the room. If you do click on him make sure you have an appointment for confession directly after. Seriously.
Chi-Town Urban Mom - It is funny how people name their blogs, yet when I link to them I sometimes change their names. Anyway-this kid is great. I would love to be her neighbor. We would get arrested and our husbands would have to bail us out, which always makes for good blog fodder.
Elaine I started linking to Elaine after she gave me some of the most amazing information that a a person with OCD (me) would pee their pants over. She told me that the average woman does no less than 25 swipes with the mascara brush on each eyelash. Now, I don't know about you, but that kind of information causes me to start counting things... and ever since then I have counted the number of swipes I make with my mascara EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE! She also said that she knows this information because her husband works for some big make up company so I link to her in hopes that she will eventually send me free make up. So far I have received zip.
Kasia I think Kasia was one of the first people to ever comment on my blog so she is like a friend I have had since elementary school. She knows (and remembers) everything about my family... which is a little creepy, but that is Okay, I know for a fact that her husband has dressed like a woman before (oh, he'll argue that it was a kilt, but whatever) so we are even.
Man With 1000 Children Seriously, he only has 11 with one in the oven... but who is counting. My priest made me start reading him a long time ago because I have this certain irritation for people who jog on the side of the road. I can't help myself, but when I see them I get an overwhelming urge to run them over with my van. When I confessed this to my priest he told me that I had to say 3 Hail Mary's and start reading Rob, who is an avid runner and runs at least a million miles in a week. True story.
Soliloquy I read her because she has a great body-that is about it. No... she is also hi-freakin-larious. Although I think she has me blocked from her comments because I have tried to tell her what I would do to get that $3500 from her husband that she needed, but she either did not like my suggestion or she was so offended that I have been black listed. If you only click on one of these links today-make it hers. You will be happy you did. And while you are there tell her to open her door to let me back in-I am probably hanging out with all the scumbags in the spam waiting room.
Stupid Fat HobbitWe all know Hobbit don't we? I don't know why I link to him... he is an ignorant slut. Oh relax... it is an inside joke. We actually know each other in person (I know, how weird is that?) and I once got him drunk at a party (playing beer pong) and he sometimes has this problem with people not "getting" his jokes... but I get Hobbit, I really do, so when he turned to another party goer and said "Jane you ignorant slut!" I understood the joke completely and laughed (reference SNL Dan Akroyd). Too bad the party goer he called an ignorant slut did not know what he was talking about and was probably offended... but we were drunk and playing pong so all was good with the world.
Sunny-My friend since I was 5 As it says in the title that I have supplied her with, I have known Sunny (or Kathleen as she likes to call herself) since we were 5 and our Dads drank beer together and our Moms were in the Altar-and-Rosary together. She is my oldest friend and part of who I am. We rode our bikes all over town and met many milestones together... like when Chris Cash tried to kiss her in the back of his garage and her mom was calling for her and I pretended like I had no idea where she was, or when we threw her brother's underpants on top of a lamp in his room on vacation and the entire upstairs started to smell like poo, or when we did our Calumet Press paper route together and tossed the papers on people's roofs and in the bushes so that we would just get done quicker. Yep-I love Sunny. She is a liberal... but Congress could learn a lesson from our friendship. We should run the country! Sunny can have California and I'll take the rest of the country. I kid Sunny... you know I am a kidder.
The Pioneer Woman Cooks The Pioneer Woman has no idea who the hell I am because she gets like 5 million comments a day and I am like a fart in the wind to her but I don't care. She is cool and I want to be part of the "in" clique so therefore I link to her so that other people think I am cool by association.
Threedonia-the magnificent 5 or 6... or maybe 7, I'm not sure how many of them there are anymore. I don't remember who these guys are. I know there is a great gal named Wankette that writes for them... but the rest is fuzzy. It is a boys club over there and they humor us ladies simply because they are hairy and smelly and we make them look good. Go check them out, they will welcome you in like the prodigal son and then start a fight with you when you least expect it and make fun of you every chance they get. It is a good time.
So there you have it... my imaginary friends. I am always looking for new friends-and it should be said that I have about 25 applications for friendship in my favorites that I visit, and of course, the 95 of you that have somehow stuck around and not said "This chick is stupid and she has saggy boobs, I am outa here!" I would link to you all if I could, but I like the sidebar to look neat and clean. I also like it to be personal-so until you get personal with me I can't put you up there (although one could argue that The Pioneer Woman has never gotten personal with me, but I explained that already-I want to be cool)
So that is an invitation... get personal, but don't take anything I say personally. Huh?
And Cousin Steve... if you had a blog I would link to you. Seriously. Dude.
Sound the trumpets!
(Plug your ears if you want, but I'm blogging about this.)
Thank my luckiest stars. I am NOT pregnant. Happilluja! (You know what I'm talking about, prolific friends.)
Thank my luckiest stars. I am NOT pregnant. Happilluja! (You know what I'm talking about, prolific friends.)
There is nothing like a good old fashioned pregnancy scare to put the fear of God into you when you have already been blessed with 4 blessed blessings to feed, clean, referee, instill an appreciation of culture in, teach manners to, read to, clothe, chauffeur, be paranoid about, pay & soothe. Sometimes simultaneously... Sometimes with friends over. Bless their hearts.
PMS has never looked like such a wonderful, wonderful, glorious festival of sunshine. I can now resume drinking beer.
PHEW.
PHEW.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
And The Winner Is...
Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:30
Timestamp: 2009-01-25 06:30:38 UTC
Congratulations:
The Wannabe Redhead said...
"God Blessed the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts is my pic for favorite song. There are so many! I'll be sure & let you know more of my picks as they pop into my head! Hope you're doing okay, JUNE!
January 23, 2009 10:34 AM
Very cool. That Rascal Flatts song is a favorite of mine (although I am not a huge country girl) but it was the song that my little sister and her hubby danced to at their wedding so it always makes me smile.
Just email my your mailing address Valerie and I'll send out your $20 iTunes card ASAP.
I have to say... you all have great taste in music. With this playlist, I highly recommend that you just minimize my blog for the rest of the day and let all of the songs play through-you'll enjoy it I guarantee.
I did have a few that I could not put on simply because they would make my ears bleed if I did. Sorry Alan, but I could not add Pink Floyd's "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Grooving Together in a Cave" because I don't think any of the Six-Packers want to trip out on acid today and go crazy. Plus-that is the worst song in the history of songs, right before William Hung.
I also could not add anything by Britney Spears or Taylor Swift. I tried... I really did, but I just could not do it without vomiting in my mouth each time I went to click the "add" button. Please forgive me.
There were also a few that I could not find-I think only four of the songs were completely obscure and not known to most people in the world... but that is Okay-groove to whatever makes you happy man.
I did add a few of my own:
Follow You Home by Nickleback-which in my opinion is the best song ever. I listen to it no less than 5 times a day. The drums are sick, the base is genius, the guitar is hot and Chad Kroeger's voice drives me crazy... simply crazy. Mercy. This song reminds me completely of Carl, because he is a rockstar like that and it sounds like a lot of our fights.
Shattered by O.A.R. This is a great song... another voice that I love, and again, it reminds me of Carl.
You'll Accomp'ny Me by Bob Seger. I like the way he just tells her that one day she'll be his. No questions.
Misunderstood by Robbie Williams. If you have not heard any of his songs then you really need to search him out. I discovered him when we were in the UK and totally fell in love with his cheeky attitude. I thought I met him once in a bar in Germany... but it turned out that it was just a German guy who looked a lot like him-and I was really drunk. That was also the day I got my tattoo by a guy named "Gunther" and the day my friend Leslie bought a stocking cap that was in the shape of a chicken and everyone kept telling her she had a cock on her head. Ahhh... memories.
Gimmee Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynryd. How can anyone NOT like this song? It reminds me of my friend Sherry-she was singing it one New Years Eve just before she did a nose dive into my Christmas Tree. This is the same New Year's Eve that I discovered my friend Lori is a very affectionate drunk. ahem. I'll always and forever smile when I hear this song and it was a favorite of mine long before the Christmas Tree incident... it is just cool. Just try not to roll your shoulders while you listen to this song, you won't be able to do it.
Turn by Travis. You know why I love this song? Because years ago I saw the video and thought is was cool. That is it. Nothing special-it just stuck with me and I have carried it with me ever since. You never hear it on the radio, you may have never even heard it on the radio here in the States. It is another memory from our days in England. His voice is perfect.
Broken by Seether. I dig the drums in this... also I like his voice. It is the song I turn on when I am missing Carl and want to be sad. It is a good song to help you sink into a mood that we need to visit from time to time. You know what I am talking about--a sad that reminds me that I still feel even though most days I am numb. Phew--that was deep.
Okay... a few more messages for some Six-Packers:
Aunt Barb-I know you love "I'm Yours". I went to a talent show at our high school a while back and three guys got up and did this accapella. I thought of you and how much you would have loved it. They were awesome and that performance was better than the original recorded song.
Melissa-thanks for saying "No Rain" by Blind Melon. That is so you man.
Kelly-I have to tell you that it was very hard for me to put John Mayer on my blog... but for you I did. I don't hate him as much as I hate Britney or Taylor Swift so I gave in, but this will be the last time do you hear me?
Hobbit-I would have to agree with your assessment that Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" may just be the best song ever... if it weren't so bloody long. I do love it though-thanks for reminding me.
Joanne-Hello! How have I never found Carbon Leaf before? Thank you! Love them.
Quitecontrary- Sean Lennon? Really? Dead Meat? Seriously? Okay... sure.
CJ-I looked for your "A Woman To Love" song but only found the version from Enrique Iglesias and it is hot. I hope you like it... if not, too bad. Enrique is hot for a skinny guy.
Jaibee-I can't believe I put Aikon on here let alone Reliant K and that awful Pirate song... never question my loyalty to you. Sheesh.
Warren-I hope you don't mind, but I put your Chattanooga Choo Choo in a medley from Glenn Miller just because Glenn is a genius. I also did this for my mother because she wanted the 1812 Overture (I am sure she was hitting the boxed wine when she commented) so I thought I could appease her old and fragile bones with some Glenn. Thanks for sharing. We all know that my mother would be happy with any song from the movie "West Side Story" though. My dad would want something from "The Sound of Music." It is a miracle that I ever survived that house.
Cousin Steve-although you did not comment on your favorite song, I am sure it would have been some country crap that would have made me stick my head in the oven, but you will be happy to see that Garth Brooks and Willie Nelson made it on this playlist, you country loving freak.
FYI-the playlist is at the bottom of this page so if you want to find your favorite song or go listen to Follow You Home which will change your life, have at it.
That is it folks, and in the words of that skinny, short and irritating Ryan Seacrest... June Out.
Here are your random numbers:30
Timestamp: 2009-01-25 06:30:38 UTC
Congratulations:
The Wannabe Redhead said...
"God Blessed the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts is my pic for favorite song. There are so many! I'll be sure & let you know more of my picks as they pop into my head! Hope you're doing okay, JUNE!
January 23, 2009 10:34 AM
Very cool. That Rascal Flatts song is a favorite of mine (although I am not a huge country girl) but it was the song that my little sister and her hubby danced to at their wedding so it always makes me smile.
Just email my your mailing address Valerie and I'll send out your $20 iTunes card ASAP.
I have to say... you all have great taste in music. With this playlist, I highly recommend that you just minimize my blog for the rest of the day and let all of the songs play through-you'll enjoy it I guarantee.
I did have a few that I could not put on simply because they would make my ears bleed if I did. Sorry Alan, but I could not add Pink Floyd's "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Grooving Together in a Cave" because I don't think any of the Six-Packers want to trip out on acid today and go crazy. Plus-that is the worst song in the history of songs, right before William Hung.
I also could not add anything by Britney Spears or Taylor Swift. I tried... I really did, but I just could not do it without vomiting in my mouth each time I went to click the "add" button. Please forgive me.
There were also a few that I could not find-I think only four of the songs were completely obscure and not known to most people in the world... but that is Okay-groove to whatever makes you happy man.
I did add a few of my own:
Follow You Home by Nickleback-which in my opinion is the best song ever. I listen to it no less than 5 times a day. The drums are sick, the base is genius, the guitar is hot and Chad Kroeger's voice drives me crazy... simply crazy. Mercy. This song reminds me completely of Carl, because he is a rockstar like that and it sounds like a lot of our fights.
Shattered by O.A.R. This is a great song... another voice that I love, and again, it reminds me of Carl.
You'll Accomp'ny Me by Bob Seger. I like the way he just tells her that one day she'll be his. No questions.
Misunderstood by Robbie Williams. If you have not heard any of his songs then you really need to search him out. I discovered him when we were in the UK and totally fell in love with his cheeky attitude. I thought I met him once in a bar in Germany... but it turned out that it was just a German guy who looked a lot like him-and I was really drunk. That was also the day I got my tattoo by a guy named "Gunther" and the day my friend Leslie bought a stocking cap that was in the shape of a chicken and everyone kept telling her she had a cock on her head. Ahhh... memories.
Gimmee Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynryd. How can anyone NOT like this song? It reminds me of my friend Sherry-she was singing it one New Years Eve just before she did a nose dive into my Christmas Tree. This is the same New Year's Eve that I discovered my friend Lori is a very affectionate drunk. ahem. I'll always and forever smile when I hear this song and it was a favorite of mine long before the Christmas Tree incident... it is just cool. Just try not to roll your shoulders while you listen to this song, you won't be able to do it.
Turn by Travis. You know why I love this song? Because years ago I saw the video and thought is was cool. That is it. Nothing special-it just stuck with me and I have carried it with me ever since. You never hear it on the radio, you may have never even heard it on the radio here in the States. It is another memory from our days in England. His voice is perfect.
Broken by Seether. I dig the drums in this... also I like his voice. It is the song I turn on when I am missing Carl and want to be sad. It is a good song to help you sink into a mood that we need to visit from time to time. You know what I am talking about--a sad that reminds me that I still feel even though most days I am numb. Phew--that was deep.
Okay... a few more messages for some Six-Packers:
Aunt Barb-I know you love "I'm Yours". I went to a talent show at our high school a while back and three guys got up and did this accapella. I thought of you and how much you would have loved it. They were awesome and that performance was better than the original recorded song.
Melissa-thanks for saying "No Rain" by Blind Melon. That is so you man.
Kelly-I have to tell you that it was very hard for me to put John Mayer on my blog... but for you I did. I don't hate him as much as I hate Britney or Taylor Swift so I gave in, but this will be the last time do you hear me?
Hobbit-I would have to agree with your assessment that Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" may just be the best song ever... if it weren't so bloody long. I do love it though-thanks for reminding me.
Joanne-Hello! How have I never found Carbon Leaf before? Thank you! Love them.
Quitecontrary- Sean Lennon? Really? Dead Meat? Seriously? Okay... sure.
CJ-I looked for your "A Woman To Love" song but only found the version from Enrique Iglesias and it is hot. I hope you like it... if not, too bad. Enrique is hot for a skinny guy.
Jaibee-I can't believe I put Aikon on here let alone Reliant K and that awful Pirate song... never question my loyalty to you. Sheesh.
Warren-I hope you don't mind, but I put your Chattanooga Choo Choo in a medley from Glenn Miller just because Glenn is a genius. I also did this for my mother because she wanted the 1812 Overture (I am sure she was hitting the boxed wine when she commented) so I thought I could appease her old and fragile bones with some Glenn. Thanks for sharing. We all know that my mother would be happy with any song from the movie "West Side Story" though. My dad would want something from "The Sound of Music." It is a miracle that I ever survived that house.
Cousin Steve-although you did not comment on your favorite song, I am sure it would have been some country crap that would have made me stick my head in the oven, but you will be happy to see that Garth Brooks and Willie Nelson made it on this playlist, you country loving freak.
FYI-the playlist is at the bottom of this page so if you want to find your favorite song or go listen to Follow You Home which will change your life, have at it.
That is it folks, and in the words of that skinny, short and irritating Ryan Seacrest... June Out.
The Husband
R. is my husband. He is a very talented artist & designer. He also can be difficult & unyielding, but I have caused him some grief in our 30 years as a team.
We almost divorced in late 2007/early 2008. My choice, I realized, was not whether there was enough room in my life for this man, but whether I wanted to be patient enough & persistant enough to make our relationship work as a team.
We are doing much, much better now & we seem to be finding each other again. I have decided that too many couples are too quick to divorce. Being in a relationship is not a choice you make once & then forget, & maybe because as gay men who often don't have access to traditional rituals that symbolically "seal the deal", "fluidity" is much more of an option for us. It can be unnerving, but it also gives us more of a challange to rise to our better selves. It is a choice I make every day. If I am not choosing it every day, then I'm not really in it. Every day, I choose this house, these dogs, & this man.
We met in 1977. We were both working in the world of theatre. He was a set designer & occasional actor. He had been working in Belgium & had just moved back to the USA with his wife & young daughter.
We new each other for about two years before we became involved. We did a lot of theatre together during that time. On October 9 1979, we told each other that we were in love with each other. We celebrate that date as our anniversary. I felt unbelievable guilt for breaking up his marriage. I still do sometimes. Rolfe remains good friends with his ex-wife & we helped raise his daughter.
We were married on our 25th anniversary in Vancouver BC. Our very good friends Eiric & Ken were our best men. We had a party in Seattle , where we had lived for 20 years, that evening with about 60 friends & family.
He thinks that I am a rigid control freak. I think that he is often "remote".
I also think he is very handsome, an amazing talent, a champion of the underdog & he is admired by many people.
I still love him very much.
My First Post
I am a daily follower of several blogs, but never really thought I would do one of my own. But, 2009 is about doing things I have never done before. I started on January 1st by trading the sides of the bed that the husband & I sleep on, for the first time in 30 years...we both liked it better & I have very vivid & fantastical dreams now. I received an email from my friend Erika yesterday that was one those "about you questions" lists. Here was my response:
Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your Friends. press FORWARD then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!
1. What time did you get up this morning?
3:55 am
2. Diamonds or pearls?
pearls, but only black
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Slumdog Millionaire (five stars)
4.What is your favorite TV show?
Current: Mad Men / of all time: I Love Lucy
5.What do you usually have for breakfast?
oatmeal
6.What is your middle name?
Lindsey
7.What food do you dislike?
I don't eat meat...besides that: nothing
8.What is your best quality?
sublime good taste
9.What kind of car do you drive?
VW Jetta Wagon
10 Favorite sandwich?
Veggie Reuben
11 What characteristic do you despise?
entitlement
12. Favorite item of clothing?
black leather anything
13.If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
NYC
14. Favourite brand of clothing?
Armani
15. Where would you retire to?
Vancouver BC
16.What was your most recent, memorable birthday?
18, my dad gave me a '59 Tbird
17 .Favorite sport to watch?
Ice Skating
18 .Farthermost place you are sending this?
NoPo
19. Person you expect to send it back first?
Robert
20. When is your birthday and where were you born ?
January 3rd, Oakland California
21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning, but every once in a while, I like to stay up all night
22. What is your shoe size?
You know what they say about shoe size... Big shoes=Big feet
23. Pets?
Two canines
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
My husband is quitting his job & striking out on his own
25. What did you want to be when you were little?
a TV star
26. How are you today?
Why? What have you heard?
27. What is your favorite candy?
I don't really like candy
28. What is your favorite flower?
peonies
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
July 31st, 2009
30. What is your full name?
Stephen Lindsey R********
31. What are you listening to right now?
DJ Stevie Steve's January Mix/ My Funny Valentine- Chet Baker
32. What is the last thing you ate?
veggie spaghetti at Bye & Bye
33. Do you wish on stars?
I try not to do any wishing
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
flesh
35. How is the weather right now?
cold & clear, just like my attitude
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
I hate the phone... nobody yet
37. Favorite soft drink?
whiskey
38. Favorite restaurant?
Pure Food, NYC
39. Real hair color?
when I had hair-strawberry blond
40. What was your favorite toy as a child?
red wagon
41. Summer or winter?
summer
42. Hugs or kisses?
kisses
43. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla
44. Coffee or tea?
tea
45. Do you want your friends to email you back?
yes
46. When was the last time you cried?
this morning on the MAX train at 4:50am
47. What is under your bed?
dog hair & porn
48. What did you do last night?
fitful sleep
49. What are you afraid of ?
not being noticed
50. Salty or sweet?
salty
51. How many keys on your key ring?
11
52. How many years at your current job?
7
53. Favorite day of the week?
Sunday
54. How many towns have you lived in?
7
55. Do you make friends easily?
no
56. How many people will you send this to?
5
57. How many will respond?
1
58. Favorite Actor/ Actress?
Gary Cooper/ Barbara Stanwyck
59. Favorite musical group or performer?
Elvis Costello/Annie Lennox
I guess that is a start.
I review on yelp. Check it out:http://stephenr.yelp.com/
Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your Friends. press FORWARD then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!
1. What time did you get up this morning?
3:55 am
2. Diamonds or pearls?
pearls, but only black
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Slumdog Millionaire (five stars)
4.What is your favorite TV show?
Current: Mad Men / of all time: I Love Lucy
5.What do you usually have for breakfast?
oatmeal
6.What is your middle name?
Lindsey
7.What food do you dislike?
I don't eat meat...besides that: nothing
8.What is your best quality?
sublime good taste
9.What kind of car do you drive?
VW Jetta Wagon
10 Favorite sandwich?
Veggie Reuben
11 What characteristic do you despise?
entitlement
12. Favorite item of clothing?
black leather anything
13.If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
NYC
14. Favourite brand of clothing?
Armani
15. Where would you retire to?
Vancouver BC
16.What was your most recent, memorable birthday?
18, my dad gave me a '59 Tbird
17 .Favorite sport to watch?
Ice Skating
18 .Farthermost place you are sending this?
NoPo
19. Person you expect to send it back first?
Robert
20. When is your birthday and where were you born ?
January 3rd, Oakland California
21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning, but every once in a while, I like to stay up all night
22. What is your shoe size?
You know what they say about shoe size... Big shoes=Big feet
23. Pets?
Two canines
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
My husband is quitting his job & striking out on his own
25. What did you want to be when you were little?
a TV star
26. How are you today?
Why? What have you heard?
27. What is your favorite candy?
I don't really like candy
28. What is your favorite flower?
peonies
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
July 31st, 2009
30. What is your full name?
Stephen Lindsey R********
31. What are you listening to right now?
DJ Stevie Steve's January Mix/ My Funny Valentine- Chet Baker
32. What is the last thing you ate?
veggie spaghetti at Bye & Bye
33. Do you wish on stars?
I try not to do any wishing
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
flesh
35. How is the weather right now?
cold & clear, just like my attitude
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
I hate the phone... nobody yet
37. Favorite soft drink?
whiskey
38. Favorite restaurant?
Pure Food, NYC
39. Real hair color?
when I had hair-strawberry blond
40. What was your favorite toy as a child?
red wagon
41. Summer or winter?
summer
42. Hugs or kisses?
kisses
43. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla
44. Coffee or tea?
tea
45. Do you want your friends to email you back?
yes
46. When was the last time you cried?
this morning on the MAX train at 4:50am
47. What is under your bed?
dog hair & porn
48. What did you do last night?
fitful sleep
49. What are you afraid of ?
not being noticed
50. Salty or sweet?
salty
51. How many keys on your key ring?
11
52. How many years at your current job?
7
53. Favorite day of the week?
Sunday
54. How many towns have you lived in?
7
55. Do you make friends easily?
no
56. How many people will you send this to?
5
57. How many will respond?
1
58. Favorite Actor/ Actress?
Gary Cooper/ Barbara Stanwyck
59. Favorite musical group or performer?
Elvis Costello/Annie Lennox
I guess that is a start.
I review on yelp. Check it out:http://stephenr.yelp.com/
Don't Look At Me That Way... I'm Allowed To Complain
There has been something that I always complain about and I am a bit leery to put it on this blog for the simple fact that it looks as though I have a lot of newly married brides who are frequenting the Six-Pack as of late... but I just can't stay silent any longer. I have to let it out--but I want all of you new brides out there to know that in no way, shape or form do I think marriage is a bad thing. I love being married-I do. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Also, I do not want to be looked at as a "complaining blogger" when I type this because many of you may read this and say "sheesh... what in the world is she complaining about!" But this has been one heck of a week for me and my mood is a bit of a funk and therefore I need to vent-and I can't vent about everything (really June? You can't vent about your double agent persona in the government?)
AND... I don't want any of you to think that my husband does not help out--because he does (no, not really, but we'll say he does because he likes to think he does and we all know that if a man thinks he is doing something and then a woman corrects him, he has a hard time with this criticism... but whatever.)
So now that I have said that... let's get on with it shall we?
Men are freakin' lucky!!!!!
Let me break it down for you:
When a guy is single, he has to do his own laundry (unless his mother still does it) he has to fix his own dinner (which I am thinking consists of soup, sandwiches and take-out) he has to clean his own bathroom (c'mon ladies... we have all seen what our husband's bathrooms looked like when we dated them-unless they lived with their mother) and so on...
When a girl is single she has to do her own laundry, fix her own dinner and clean her own bathroom and so on...
When a man and a woman get married, the man no longer has to do his laundry-the woman does hers and his. The man no longer has to cook-the woman does this too, and you can bet that she is no longer eating cereal for dinner like she did when she was single, she is making things like pot roast and mashed potatoes and all kinds of other fattening things to please her new husband. The woman also takes on the entire bathroom cleaning duties as well, leaving the man to never have to scrub a toilet-the toilet that he makes so much dirtier than she ever would-again.
Eventually children are added to this marriage and the man's life is still not really affected by this. He has a wife that will take care of the kids from getting them to school, to the doctor, to piano lessons, to basketball, and the wife will also clean the children, feed the children, and make sure the children look presentable.
Basically, men have it made when they get married. No questions.
The other day I was listening to a conversation between a few men. One of these men was about to get married and the other men in this group were giving him a hard time. They were telling this guy about women complaining and nagging and even referring to their wives as a "ball and chain."
I was appalled. What would these guys be doing if they weren't married? And don't you dare say "having a good time" you male readers out there. You would be lost without your wife taking care of your life for you.
That is what wives do-they take care of you. They feed you, clothe you, and just like the children, she makes sure you look presentable (she would never let you walk out of the house with a black belt and brown shoes now would she?)
Your wife loves you... and what do you do for her? And don't say "I make the money!" Big deal-I could make money too-in fact, I DO make money so that argument does not hold water.
What else do you do? Hmmm? I mean honestly guys... what do you do for your wife to make sure she is taken care of? When is the last time you put on rubber gloves and cleaned a toilet after she had a stomach virus? When is the last time you checked the pockets of her pants before you washed them to make sure her wallet would not go through the wash? When was the last time you made her a meal that you didn't like but made it anyway because it is her favorite? When was the last time you made sure the sheets were changed on the bed every week or made sure she had a fresh towel after her shower? When was the last time you checked the calendar and reminded her about her dentist appointment, and if she couldn't make it, when was the last time you called to cancel one of her appointments with a feasible excuse? And when was the last time you sat through a television show that you do not like just so you could be close to her on the couch?
I am telling you... you men have it made when you get married.
And the whole "ball and chain" complaining nagging thing? Well, lets just say that you would get a little testy too if you had to not only do for yourself but also do for everyone else in the house on a daily basis.
She just wants a little help. She just wants you to pick up your socks from the bathroom floor and get them in the hamper. She just wants you to put your milk glass in the dishwasher and not in the sink. She just wants you to put the remote control back in the little basket next to the couch and not stuffed between the cushions. She just wants you to wipe your shaven hairs down the drain in the bathroom sink. She just wants you to be grateful.
Women have dreams when they are young just like men do, but our dreams always seem to be put on hold for the common good of the family. We put them on hold to take care of our husbands and our children all the while making sure everyone else strives for and achieves their dreams. Some days it is hard to realize that we can't fulfill our dreams because we are doing laundry and making dinner.
Don't get me wrong, I love the things that have sidetracked my dreams, and I am sure that I will one day fulfill my dreams... and I am thrilled and proud of my husband's dreams and the part I have played in helping him fulfill them, but it would be nice if he didn't assume that it was my JOB to scrub the damn toilet.
I am not the only one that craps in it.
How did I get this duty?
.
Also, I do not want to be looked at as a "complaining blogger" when I type this because many of you may read this and say "sheesh... what in the world is she complaining about!" But this has been one heck of a week for me and my mood is a bit of a funk and therefore I need to vent-and I can't vent about everything (really June? You can't vent about your double agent persona in the government?)
AND... I don't want any of you to think that my husband does not help out--because he does (no, not really, but we'll say he does because he likes to think he does and we all know that if a man thinks he is doing something and then a woman corrects him, he has a hard time with this criticism... but whatever.)
So now that I have said that... let's get on with it shall we?
Men are freakin' lucky!!!!!
Let me break it down for you:
When a guy is single, he has to do his own laundry (unless his mother still does it) he has to fix his own dinner (which I am thinking consists of soup, sandwiches and take-out) he has to clean his own bathroom (c'mon ladies... we have all seen what our husband's bathrooms looked like when we dated them-unless they lived with their mother) and so on...
When a girl is single she has to do her own laundry, fix her own dinner and clean her own bathroom and so on...
When a man and a woman get married, the man no longer has to do his laundry-the woman does hers and his. The man no longer has to cook-the woman does this too, and you can bet that she is no longer eating cereal for dinner like she did when she was single, she is making things like pot roast and mashed potatoes and all kinds of other fattening things to please her new husband. The woman also takes on the entire bathroom cleaning duties as well, leaving the man to never have to scrub a toilet-the toilet that he makes so much dirtier than she ever would-again.
Eventually children are added to this marriage and the man's life is still not really affected by this. He has a wife that will take care of the kids from getting them to school, to the doctor, to piano lessons, to basketball, and the wife will also clean the children, feed the children, and make sure the children look presentable.
Basically, men have it made when they get married. No questions.
The other day I was listening to a conversation between a few men. One of these men was about to get married and the other men in this group were giving him a hard time. They were telling this guy about women complaining and nagging and even referring to their wives as a "ball and chain."
I was appalled. What would these guys be doing if they weren't married? And don't you dare say "having a good time" you male readers out there. You would be lost without your wife taking care of your life for you.
That is what wives do-they take care of you. They feed you, clothe you, and just like the children, she makes sure you look presentable (she would never let you walk out of the house with a black belt and brown shoes now would she?)
Your wife loves you... and what do you do for her? And don't say "I make the money!" Big deal-I could make money too-in fact, I DO make money so that argument does not hold water.
What else do you do? Hmmm? I mean honestly guys... what do you do for your wife to make sure she is taken care of? When is the last time you put on rubber gloves and cleaned a toilet after she had a stomach virus? When is the last time you checked the pockets of her pants before you washed them to make sure her wallet would not go through the wash? When was the last time you made her a meal that you didn't like but made it anyway because it is her favorite? When was the last time you made sure the sheets were changed on the bed every week or made sure she had a fresh towel after her shower? When was the last time you checked the calendar and reminded her about her dentist appointment, and if she couldn't make it, when was the last time you called to cancel one of her appointments with a feasible excuse? And when was the last time you sat through a television show that you do not like just so you could be close to her on the couch?
I am telling you... you men have it made when you get married.
And the whole "ball and chain" complaining nagging thing? Well, lets just say that you would get a little testy too if you had to not only do for yourself but also do for everyone else in the house on a daily basis.
She just wants a little help. She just wants you to pick up your socks from the bathroom floor and get them in the hamper. She just wants you to put your milk glass in the dishwasher and not in the sink. She just wants you to put the remote control back in the little basket next to the couch and not stuffed between the cushions. She just wants you to wipe your shaven hairs down the drain in the bathroom sink. She just wants you to be grateful.
Women have dreams when they are young just like men do, but our dreams always seem to be put on hold for the common good of the family. We put them on hold to take care of our husbands and our children all the while making sure everyone else strives for and achieves their dreams. Some days it is hard to realize that we can't fulfill our dreams because we are doing laundry and making dinner.
Don't get me wrong, I love the things that have sidetracked my dreams, and I am sure that I will one day fulfill my dreams... and I am thrilled and proud of my husband's dreams and the part I have played in helping him fulfill them, but it would be nice if he didn't assume that it was my JOB to scrub the damn toilet.
I am not the only one that craps in it.
How did I get this duty?
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My most hilarious baby photo.
I'm the one in the red pajamas.
Uncle Bob was told to watch the children verrrry carefully while mother went to the grocery store.This was just prior to my Uncle Bob separating me from my siamese cousin, Buzzy.
The first step in the baby anger management program is the hug.
Uncle Bob put the babies' heads in close proximity to scramble their thoughts and stop them from reading his mind....
Learning to tango is a lifelong commitment which must be cultivated in early childhood.
I could go on all day.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Ward... I Think We Need To Sell The Kids.
During the day... when the kids are in school:
Early evening... when the kids get home from school:
And you people wonder why I drink.
.
Guess what.
Whenever I get the hiccups, all Neil has to do is basically mutter the word, "boo" under his breath and they disappear instantly. INSTANTLY, NERDHERD- *spooOoooky*. I KNOW this is psychological, but it has never not worked. This both amuses and infuriates me. Am I so easily controlled? Like a hiccuping puppet on a little jerking string? Of course HE thinks this is hysterically funny. Psh.
Ooooh... you win this time, NEIL.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Give Away... Give Away... Give Away...
I love music... I mean, I really really love music. I am sad that I do not have music on this blog right now but I think the site that I was getting my music from gave me that nasty virus that made mucus come out of the all USB ports on my beloved laptop so I just erased it. I have been browsing around to find a new site to put music back on here and I think I found one. I have a date with it tonight and if I come away without any warts on my keyboard I will once again put music back on for your listening enjoyment. If you read this at work, your boss will love me. I have been planning a comeback tour since I deleted the last music selection.
Anyway, I have a love affair with music and therefore I love my iPod, and I am addicted to iTunes (just ask the little man in my laptop that balances my checkbook for me).
You may be surprised to find out that although I enjoy technology, I am technology challenged. I am like a Kindergartner when it comes to technology so I have to stay at a pace that I understand.
My iPod for instance is not a fancy-shmancy, watch movies, download State secrets or find a cure for cancer, type of iPod. It is just a little shuffle. Yep... that is all I need. I turn it on and it plays my music. I clip it to my belt loop and off I go dancing while I vacuum and scrub toilets. I am listening to it right now... Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon. Nice.
The only problem I have with my shuffle is that I cannot hook it up to anything that will successfully play in my van so I download music from iTunes and then I burn CDs to play in my van so although I have all of my favorite tunes on my little shuffle, I still have 4,574 CDs scattered throughout my van which drives my husband crazy because he is the ying to my yang and my yang really irritates his ying sometimes. But that is why he loves me... I have some crazy yang going on. Which reminds me of a song that I'll have to remember to burn tonight so I can listen to it in the van and think about my husband's ying.
Burning CDs also poses a problem for the little ears that I tote around town 23 hours out of the day. Not all of the music on my little shuffle is kid friendly (I can't help that Nickelback sings some songs that make my cheeks burn the color of crimson) so I have to color code my CDs that I burn. If you are ever in my van with me and I pull out a red CD, prepare your ears for some great music that may make you say "Phew, it is hot in here?" but if I put in a blue CD you should be Okay... and I only play the green ones when my parents are in town. Kids music is on pink CDs which sometimes get confused with the red CD and then my 14 year old looks at me and says "Mother! I can't believe you are listening to this!" and I ground myself to my bedroom for the rest of the day.
But my birthday is coming up so I think I may just have to move into first grade and update my iPod to something a little more van-friendly. Any suggestions? I don't want anything that I will have to be pushing buttons forever on and I don't want to download music videos or porn, I just want to listen to my music man. Just the tunes.
Music is my life. Without it I wouldn't have inspiration... it is my muse.
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. Albert Einstein
So... shall we have a contest? Let me know what your favorite song of all time is and I will try my hardest to get it on this site. I will also pull out the Internet Random Generator thingy from the closet next to my fondue set and your comment may be chosen for a $20 iTunes card.
What a great giveaway don't you think?
You have until Sunday morning to fill me in on your music must-haves.
Good luck!
Anyway, I have a love affair with music and therefore I love my iPod, and I am addicted to iTunes (just ask the little man in my laptop that balances my checkbook for me).
You may be surprised to find out that although I enjoy technology, I am technology challenged. I am like a Kindergartner when it comes to technology so I have to stay at a pace that I understand.
My iPod for instance is not a fancy-shmancy, watch movies, download State secrets or find a cure for cancer, type of iPod. It is just a little shuffle. Yep... that is all I need. I turn it on and it plays my music. I clip it to my belt loop and off I go dancing while I vacuum and scrub toilets. I am listening to it right now... Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon. Nice.
The only problem I have with my shuffle is that I cannot hook it up to anything that will successfully play in my van so I download music from iTunes and then I burn CDs to play in my van so although I have all of my favorite tunes on my little shuffle, I still have 4,574 CDs scattered throughout my van which drives my husband crazy because he is the ying to my yang and my yang really irritates his ying sometimes. But that is why he loves me... I have some crazy yang going on. Which reminds me of a song that I'll have to remember to burn tonight so I can listen to it in the van and think about my husband's ying.
Burning CDs also poses a problem for the little ears that I tote around town 23 hours out of the day. Not all of the music on my little shuffle is kid friendly (I can't help that Nickelback sings some songs that make my cheeks burn the color of crimson) so I have to color code my CDs that I burn. If you are ever in my van with me and I pull out a red CD, prepare your ears for some great music that may make you say "Phew, it is hot in here?" but if I put in a blue CD you should be Okay... and I only play the green ones when my parents are in town. Kids music is on pink CDs which sometimes get confused with the red CD and then my 14 year old looks at me and says "Mother! I can't believe you are listening to this!" and I ground myself to my bedroom for the rest of the day.
But my birthday is coming up so I think I may just have to move into first grade and update my iPod to something a little more van-friendly. Any suggestions? I don't want anything that I will have to be pushing buttons forever on and I don't want to download music videos or porn, I just want to listen to my music man. Just the tunes.
Music is my life. Without it I wouldn't have inspiration... it is my muse.
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. Albert Einstein
So... shall we have a contest? Let me know what your favorite song of all time is and I will try my hardest to get it on this site. I will also pull out the Internet Random Generator thingy from the closet next to my fondue set and your comment may be chosen for a $20 iTunes card.
What a great giveaway don't you think?
You have until Sunday morning to fill me in on your music must-haves.
Good luck!
confession.
Few things give me as much joy as getting to be the one who kicks off all of the the dirty snow that has built up in the wheel wells, behind my tires. Then it all falls down in a big lump and I get to drive over it when I back out. How grand.(Sometimes, I even have to suppress my impulse to sneak around and kick the snow out of my neighbors' wheel wells in the middle of night, under the cloak of darkness.)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Morning After Ramblings....
Carl headed out this morning. I honestly (foolishly) anticipated it being easier this time since we no longer have a year ahead of us, but a mere 7 months. That is chump change right?
Apparently not.
You see, the past two weeks were NORMAL... meaning, it felt like he had never left and it felt like he was never leaving again. So this morning when he had to leave, it sucked. Yep. Big time.
We were able to go to the gate at the airport with Carl and wait for his plane. FYI, if you are taking a military member to the airport before deployment, you are allowed to escort them to the gate so that you can spend ever last minute with them. We waited until everyone boarded before saying good-bye because I didn't want to feel like we were in an episode of Extreme Home Makeover but there would be no new house in the end... it would be just like the beginning reel that Ty Pennington shows the interior designers on the RV and everyone at home cries. I didn't want to make other people cry-so that is why we waited.
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Last night we watched the Inaugural Ball coverage. I must say that my favorite moment was at the Commander-in-Chief Ball when President Obama was talking to the soldier via satellite in Iraq. They chose all Chicago area residents and jokingly Obama (a flagrant White Sox fan) asked each of them who they were fans of, the White Sucks or The Cubbies... all but one were Cubs fans.
It was a proud moment for me.
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I feel like I have a hang over that only a blue comicazi could give me. Mmmmm, those are really good.
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This one is for The Urban Mom from Chi-town (she is a cubs fan too), who has begrudgingly read Twilight and then protested a little bit too much about liking it.
Hey UMom... Edward Cullen is staring at you.
*wink*
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And Wankette , this one is for you... just because I know you like this sort of thing.
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And this one is for my mother. You are welcome.
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One last thing... Welcome to Fox News Glenn. It's about damn time.
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